The Master: "Remember, this guy is one of the greatest hitters of all time.” The Acolyte: "We hear all this stuff about Alex being a distraction. I’m here to tell you it’s not a distraction."

In a column today, The Daily News' Bob Raissman - whose stance on John Sterling has softened since he scored a phoner interview with the Master on the night of the recent apartment fire - welcomes "Ma and Pa Pinstripe" to 2015.

Finally, something to look forward to. Suzyn (Ma Pinstripe) Waldman and John (Pa Pinstripe) Sterling broke the seal Saturday and Sunday on the Yankees Radio Network.

He even mentions our name, in a way.

But Raissman misses one key and often overlooked element of Sterling's mass appeal - pro or con: The Master is uniquely locked into the Yankiverse - like a Vulcan Mind Meld - or in the way that Tony Stark knows his Iron Man suit. Yankee fans can tell instantly through his voice whether the Yankee are ahead or behind. And Sterling possesses the super power of knowing exactly what the fan base thinks.

And what we are thinking this spring is that the '15 Yankees is a tedious collection of old players on the decline, led by a former star who - at best - will win only a half-redemption among the fan base. We are hungering for somebody, anybody, to pop out of the organization's minor league abyss and make a difference. We saw it last year with Yangervis Solarte. This year, it could be anyone - as long as he's under 30.

It might have been cagy to sign Stephen Drew to play 2B. But who gets excited over him there? Chris Young in the outfield? Even if he gets off to a hot start, we know what's coming: A slow, agonizing drift back to .206.

Until the Yankees find several young impact players - four is a nice number - we will be watching a dead and dying team.

John and Suzyn spent the weekend saying so - though in not such graphic terms.

Suzyn: "It's rare to see this many kids here with a shot. There is a future."

John: "We could be looking at the start of something."

Or the end of something.

Still no word on the home run calls for Didi Gregorious or Rob Refsnyder. Let's hope we get a chance.

Finally: Today, Alphonso, Mustang and I will watch our heroes play the Orioles in Sarasota. A full accounting when - and if - we sober up.