Last night, Team Boredom lost again. It happened fast, although - with all Yankee losses - time seems to suspend itself. Three hours move like 10, especially when opposing pitchers are rolling through our lineup like a Fleet enema. But in the ninth, with two outs, Joe Girardi finally gave the good people of Maryland what they came for:
A chance to dunk the carnival clown.
Alex Rodriguez stepped to the plate in an avalanche of boos. With every pitch, the chorus grew louder. Nobody was leaving. This was why they came. This was the grand event that justified buying a ticket.
In that moment, I had a revelation about the 2015 Yankees, at least from the standpoint of our esteemed ownership:
A-Rod is this year's Reverse Jeter Farewell Tour.
As long as the Yankees have Alex, there will always be some kinky, disturbed, self-abasing reason for people to watch. And fans will always pay good money to yell obscenities at the freak.
The team doesn't have to be any good. It can flounder around .500 - (which right now would be an improvement; we haven't won a series yet.) As long as it has A-Rod, it will have fannies in the seats and noise in the stadiums. Funny how the world goes, eh?
Two back-to-back Hall of Fame Tours (Mo, then Jeet). Now the Hall of Shame Tour. I like it. Hal is a genius! Since A-Rod will still be on the payroll next year, we can repeat the experience.
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