As of this morning, we have achieved also-ran equality!
There will be no Metapalooza down the Canyon of Heroes. No Grandyman on the Tonight Show. No Matt Harvey kiss from De Blasio. Soon, the weather will turn miserable. It's Opening Day of the Off-Season, the happiest time on the new YES calendar. As they say on G.O.T., winter is here!
Thus far, we haven't watched Toronto sign a free agent. We haven't sat out the bidding on a new Cuban prospect. We haven't even made a crapola trade. Nobody's hurt. Everybody's healthy. We won't lose for four months. This is our time to fantasize anything... anything!
Chase Headley! Know what I think? I think old Chase is due for a breakout year! Yep, I'm writing down 25 HR and .270! I say, shoot for the fences!
CC will be out of rehab, and Ellsbury could be back by June 1. Should we re-sign Stephen Drew... as insurance. What about the alien mega-structure orbiting that nearby star? Are they Yankee fans? Wait... could the aliens be stealing YES signals? Could be a new revenue source.
Have you heard about Gary Sanchez in the Arizona League. He's tearing it up. He looks like a future all-star catcher. Can we spin him off for a decent middle-innings reliever? Carlos Beltran! He sure quieted the critics. Two-seventy-four! With more rest, he could hit .280 next year.
Let KC have their stupid celebration. Nobody cares. Within five years, they'll be terrible again. Same with the Mets and Redsocks. They might be good next summer, but as long as someone beats them in the World Series, it doesn't matter, right? We'll still have that first day of November, to stretch out and party, because our worst rivals didn't win. Hoo-ray. It's the best time of the year. We tied for first. We're also-rans!
Hope for what?
ReplyDeleteTo back-in , again, to a play-in game where we fail to score a run?
To a lively, 82 win season?
To a week of terror at the trade deadline, where Gary sanchez is dealt for a 35 year old pitcher?
We can't even dream of a competitive Yankee team.
well, I can dream of getting my refund for the post season tickets I bought in advance, foolishly thinking the Yanks may actually go somewhere. They still have hundreds of my dollars. How long does it take to refund a credit card? What did they do? invest my money into a short term note?
ReplyDeleteGODDAMN IT YANKEES! GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING MONEY!!
BUT KD, DON'T YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE 2016 TEAM??? YOUR MONEY WILL GO TOWARD OUR NEXT BIG FREE AGENT SIGNING!...OH WAIT, WE PROBABLY MAY NOT MAKE THAT SIGNING.........MESSAGE TO HAL AND THE GANG....WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!! ..YANKEE FANS WILL HAPPILY CONTRIBUTE TO THE "CAUSE" IN THE FORM OF PLAYOFF TICKET PURCHASES, REGULAR SEASON (CRAZY TICKET PRICED) PURCHASES, FUCKING $35 DOLLAR PARKING, OUTLANDISH $15 DOLLAR STEAK SANDWICHES, AND BITCHING $5 DOLLAR PRETZELS....JUST SO LONG AS YOU DO THE RIGHT THING, LIKE YOUR FATHER, AND FEED US RABID FANS THE PLAYERS WE NEED TO STICK OUR FUCKING CHESTS OUT, AND TELL THESE NICKLE-DIME DICK MET AND RED SOX FANS, "WE ARE THE NEW YORK YANKEES!!! ..YOU WANT TO BEAT US?...WON'T BE EASY...WANT TO BE LIKE US?...GOOD LUCK BITCHES.......I DO HOPE YOU GET YOUR MONEY BACK SOON KD....
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