I have identified the Babadook figure lurking in my nightmares, and it is Howie Kendrick

In the shadows of the serpent, I now can see it...  

The Howiedook.

Of course, that's what we're going to do...

The Dodgers yesterday tagged Howie Kendrick with a qualifying offer, creating the Absolute Perfect Yankee Five Year Beltran-Level Boondoggle - a fit so clean, so natural, so utterly horrible on every front that it's almost impossible for a true Evil Empire to resist.

Yes, they can entice the 32-year-old Howie with $35 million - cheap - plus lose their first-round pick and never - ever - give Rob Refsnyder or anybody under age 25 a chance. The more I think of it, the more it seems a slam dunk. Sign Howie, and that would free up Cashman to package Refsnyder with, say, Gary Sanchez or Jorge Matos for another middle innings relief pitcher, like the five or so that he wheeled in last winter, and - who knows? - if Jason Pierre-Paul returns from his fireworks blowout, and if Carmelo Anthony stays healthy... well, the Yankees can reach that perfect NY sports pantheon of the Gints, the Jets, the Knicks and Rutgers and - hey, does Seton Hall play football?

Dear God, this is so depressing.

The last three winters have brought to the Yankiverse nothing more than slush. It's one thing to have a crapola farm system. It's another to have a crapola farm system and a tightwad owner.

Remember a few Decembers ago, when Cashman famously told reporters at the winter meetings, "Beggars can't be choosers?" I guess that still sums it up. The Yankees, with more money than the Middle East, will put pennies between their dimpled knees and pinch their legs tightly together, rather than spend a precious coin or two on a free agent pitcher. They blame bad deals on the players, rather than the front office that makes them. And for reasons I cannot fathom, the NY media lets them get away with it.

And last winter, after everything was said and done, we watched the Redsocks sign Yoan Moncada - now considered one of the top 10 prospects in baseball - while the Boy Owner ran around with his pockets pulled out, poor-mouthing, because he had gone out and signed Chris Capuano.

I look at all the schemes, the deliriums, posed by Yankee fans - trade this guy, sign this guy, move this guy - but I only see the churning of mediocrity. We have old guys who cannot - or will not - hit to the opposite fields, so the defenses shift, and our guys go from hitting .280 to .220.

We have one hope - that a young player emerges to lead this team. But how can that happen, when we refuse to even give our young players a shot?

Well... I can see the creature clearly. Its name is Howie... alias, Drew II. Think it can't happen? Just watch...