Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Record since juju intervention: 1-0, baby, one and oh!

Yo Yankiverse, we did it!

As planned, the International Juju Intervention - aka "Charging of the Mound" - commenced in the second inning last night, with instant results and a big Yankee victory. (Note: Every Yankee victory is a big Yankee victory.) We shalt not go easy into the night. In fact, I'm feeling a bit drunk on juju today... as I prepare for the annual ANNUAL DRUNK BLOG, which begins tonight.

From this point on, I will be blogging with a blood alcohol content that could get me arrested. Nevertheless, I solemnly swear not to allow the DRUNK BLOG to intervene with the intervention. In fact, I think I'll be hurling more potent juju particles (Rizzutons) than ever. I invite you all to join in. THE DRUNK BLOG AND INTERNATIONAL JUJU INTERVENTION, SIMULTANEOUS! THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHY WE ARE YANKEE FANS.

So, one and oh, baby, ONE AND OH. But we can't quit now. Tonight... third inning - that's right, inning number three... stand and attack your television, radio or internet broadcast device. Move some Rizzutons in the direction of Chicago, hog butcher to the world. In your mind, slaughter a cow, beat a hippie, or hum a Cheap Trick song. Make the White Sox your personal cherry dumpling lamb tart.

I know this may seem crazy. But desperate times require desperate juju. The season is tottering on the brink. But if we keep this up - if we can run, say, a twenty-five or thirty game win streak - we could take a Wild Card berth. It's time for Yankee fans to save this team. ONWARD AND UPWARD WITH DRUNKEN JUJU. IT STARTED LAST NIGHT. TODAY, WE KEEP IT GOING.

WHO'S GONNA WIN TONIGHT?

LOUDER.

WHO'S GONNA WIN TONIGHT?

I CAN'T HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR YOU?

WHO'S GONNA WIN TONIGHT?

OOOOOOOOOOOOO-KAY! NOW, GET OUT THERE AND SHAKE YOUR JUJU STICK, AND LET'S WIN OURSELVES A WILD CARD!


2 comments:


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