Nothing but nice: Baby Boss meets with Baby Bombers, talks go goodly

DATELINE: TAMPTOWN _ Earnest Yankee boy scion Hal Steinbrenner carves out time from his harrowing schedule to visit the troops in Florida, then whacks off an impressive email to the NY Post, saying: "We are all excited for this year and the years to come!”

To which this Yankee fan says, "True dat, Sir!"

Ahh, behold the gifts of a hopeful Feb! James Kaprielian is throwing! Jacoby Ellsbury is cuddling his newborn! A-Rod is offering wisdom, and Jeet is grabbing the dinner check. Chris Carter has not struck out once... not once, take that, naysayers. Nobody cares how warm it is up North. Let the glaciers calve, let the town halls boil with protest, let Ivan Nova grow a beard... no one cares, amigo. This is the land of hope. This is not me feigning a visit to the land of hope. Fuck dat. I. Don't. Feign. This is me drinking the bucket of hopeful Kool-Aid, full-on, mouth to teat, suckling contentedly at the nipple of Yankee optimism.

From now on, we at IT IS HIGH are going to own this positive outlook thingy. Get on board, everybody, or you will end up in Class A Pulaski. 

The pitching staff? Looks good. Tanaka is our ace, CC our bulwark, and Pineda is going to finally have the breakout season that separates him from Jesus Montero's ice cream sandwiches. After the Wholly Trinity, all we need are two - yes, just two - starters to emerge from the sperm bank of Chad Green, Luis Cessa, Luis Severino, Bryan Mitchell, Jonathan Niese, Dietrich Enns, Jonathan Holder, Kaprielian and Adam Warren. That's right, everybody. It's not a misprint. We only need two.

I know what you're thinking. ONLY TWO? Why... this negativity that has pervaded our Yankee winter, it was merely a mirage! Only two. From whence doth all the sadness and despair hath sprung?

Two words: THE MEDIA. Enemies of the Yankees. They always look on the dark side of the coin. Me? No more. I'm personally betting that Cessa, Severino, Mitchell and Enns all prove themselves to be MLB starters this spring, and by summer, Joe Girardi is using an eight-man rotation, struggling to find time for the emerging Chasen Shreve and - my fave, write this down - Giovanni Gallegos!  

Also, get this: The Yankees only need ONE of their two Aarons to become a star. They only need ONE of Ellsbury/Gardner to have a career year. They only need ONE Greg Bird to fly. Nothing bad is happening. We're all excited for this year and for years to come. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Only we speak the truth. All others news sources are false Yankee prophets. They must be eradicated from the face of the earth. Banish them from your favorites list. Buy a sound truck and tour Yankee fan neighborhoods, reading this message aloud. Call your elected officials and demand that they support the Yankees, as defined by this blog and this blog alone.

I won't sugar coat this: It's going to messy, weeding out the speakers of falsehood who pervade this franchise. But we have a plan. I'm not going to tell you the plan, only that it exists, and when it is implemented, it will be the best plan that the Yankees have ever known. That's all you need to know. Just be happy. This is gonna be incredible. The wins are about to come.