Yet Chris Carter - last year's NL home run leader - has never conjured much discussion within the Yankee peanut gallery. (A subReddit devoted to the subject came up with one putrid offering: "Carter really jimmied that one." - Ouch.) Now, with Greg Bird having a great spring, Carter's presence has only diminished further. He's become the Yankee Voldemort - He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
So... what WILL The Master shout? Let's do the analytics on a proper two-pronged homer holler. We'll break it down, courtesy of RhymeZone.com:
CARTER rhymes with..
arter, barter, cart her, charter, chart her, darter, dartre, garter, harter,hartter, heart her, karter, marter, martyr, parter, part her, sartor,smarter, starter, start her, tartar, tarter
Not much there.
"Carter charters a downtown flight!"
"No barter for Carter."
"It's a start... from Cart... er.!
"Carter charters a downtown flight!"
"No barter for Carter."
"It's a start... from Cart... er.!
Okay, moving on... CHRIS rhymes with....
bis, biss, bliss, bliss', briss, brys, buice, chris', chriss, cris, criss, cuisse,dis, diss, driss, fis, fiss, flis, fliss, gliss, hiss, kis, kiss, kniss, kris, kriss,lis, liss, lisse, mis, miss, nisse, piss, pliss, plisse, pris, priss, riss, risse,rys, scris, sis, spiss, stys, suess, suisse, swiss, this, this', triss, twiss, vis,whiss, wis, wiss, wisse, wyss
Hm-mm.
"Chris it goodbye!"
"Chris doesn't miss!"
"Says Chris, 'Take this!'"
So... one from column A, one from column B. Or... wait: What if we use the fact that "Chris Carter" is also the name of the guy who created the X-Files?
"Straight the Chris-File. The truth is out there... and so is the ball!"
All right, who's got a better Chris? Or has The Master already played his hand?
All right, who's got a better Chris? Or has The Master already played his hand?
His initials are CC. John has been known to recycle calls and "Whoever says CC you later" has been done before. That's my bet.
ReplyDelete"Carter sends a liver pill to the upper deck." (Or is that too commercial)?
ReplyDeleteGomer just said, "Goooollllly, Sargent Carter!"
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who thought of "Farter?" I guess my default is to the gross and scatalogical, but hey..."CARTER RIPS A FARTER!" is pretty strong, in my book. My book, of course, has been falling apart for years.
ReplyDelete"PURE BLISS FROM CHRIS!!!" is not really the Master's style, but let me keep riffing while I"m still sitting down.
"TESTICULAR CHRISTOPHER DELIVERS THE GOODS!" Am I on shaky ground here?
"MR CARTER THE FIRE STARTER!"
Ok. My work is done. I need to go lie down.
ReplyDeleteCarter hits it harder!
Carter goes yarder!
Chris doesn't miss!
Chris whacks the piss out of this!
This is tough, isn't it?
CARTER...... DRIVES IT FARTHER!
ReplyDeleteI LIKE 13 BITS, "PURE BLISS FROM CHRIS" ....
ReplyDeleteALSO, anonymous' " CARTER SENDS A LITTLE LIVER PILL INTO THE STANDS"
HONORABLE MENTION: LBJ's "CARTER GOES YARDER"
Oh, Boston! Your starter is a martyr, so says Chris Carter!
ReplyDeleteCAAAARTER IS GETTTTING HAAAARDER!!!!
ReplyDeleteTHE CARTING COMPANY TAAAAAKES IT AWAAAAAAAY!!!!!
HITCH YOUR CART TO THAT ONE!!! IIIIIIITTT'S GOOOOOOOOOONE!
CHRISTOPHER CART GOES YARD!!!
but what if he never gets to play? isn't the ideal homer holler for him the one that we NEVER get to hear???
duque's "Chris it goodbye" gets my vote
ReplyDeleteHe's reading these right?
ReplyDeleteThe Master doesn't do the Internet.
ReplyDeleteThat's Suzyn's job.
How about, "Wow, he didn't strike out!"
ReplyDelete"It went farther, with Carter."
ReplyDeleteWho gives a shit about rhyme?
LBJ nailed it with Carter goes yarder.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.