It'll will happen one morning, while Trump is Gorilla Gluing his headpiece into place. Fox & Friends will air some Joe Buck-infected playoffs-hyping segment, sending Trump to his tweeter, (the one without Spellcheck.) Maybe he'll retweet an altered GIF of Dellin Betances beaning Hillary Clinton. Maybe he'll pose over a plate of Chinese egg noodles to honor Masahiro Tanaka. Whatever he does, it will hit the next news cycle like a Caitlyn Jenner sex tape, and here's the rub: The Yanks will gain nothing.
Immediately, millions of Yankee haters will find new reason to spew their home-brewed bile - and dangerous juju - against us. But among the tobacco-chewing 4 in 10 who live with Trump bumper-stickers attached to their foreheads, nobody - not one - will renounce his Yankee hatred. It just doesn't work that way.
Yankee haters despise the Yankees with the heat of a billion suns. A positive Trump tweet will be a mosquito bite upon their infinite rage and fury, and yet it will thrust their freshly poisoned stickpins into our juju doll genitalia. Moreover, if Trump turns up in a luxury box with Rudy and Rupert, or Hannity and Colmes (R.I.P.) - hell, even if it's with Chuck and Lurch de Blasiio - he will create a cat-5 diversion beyond anything Joe Girardi has ever quelled by taking Meredith Marakovitz to a pizza parlor.
Immediately, reporters will ask each Yankee his opinion on Trump. Some will Jeter it, saying nothing and looking completely ball-less. Some will bite. Either way, it's a lose-lose. We'd be better off if Kim Jung Un tweeted us; we'd condemn it and be done. This is a tear in the Yankiverse waiting to happen.
I know what you're thinking: Trump hasn't tweeted on us thus far, so why worry? Listen: Summer is over, and winter is coming to Winterfell. If the Yankees reach the actual playoffs - beyond the Wild Card - the long slumbering pro- and anti-Yankee forces will mobilize nationwide, like an army of the White Walkers. Most fans will fall in behind long-suffering Cleveland and flood-stricken Houston, the game's clear powerhouses. But Trump will not be "presidential" and wish good luck to all. He'll throw in with Hal and Randy, Hank and Lonn, and leave the rest of us sitting in that coal mine next to the dead canary.
We don't need distractions. But a big one, an unforgiving one, could be just around the corner. Sad.
You should limit your comments to sports and leave politics out of it! We hear too much fake news as it is.
ReplyDelete"Hal and Randy, Hank and Lonn"
ReplyDeleteDuque's a Mark Knopfler fan.
I was watching on old "Twilight Zone" and it hit me...what if the whole idea of fake news is....fake news?
ReplyDeleteWhoa.
TRUMP!
ReplyDeleteI'M STAYING OUTTA THIS ONE!
Slow news day? Have a mishupkna.
ReplyDeleteThe Yankees play today.
I share your trepidation on this, Duque: that's all we need, is the least popular Fearless (& Feckless) Leader the US has ever had, boosting our team on his stupid cell-phone. I hope he will be too busy railing against Rand Paul & John Mccain to bother - - that's our best hope.
ReplyDeleteFirst anonymous: I respectfully disagree: there is a crossover factor between sports & politics (Mr. Ketchup-Sox, Colin Kapernick, Tom Deflate-Gate & his Missus, etc.) - - and it deserves to be discussed.
Second anonymous: Nobody on this site is a bigger Mark Knopfler fan than I am - - I have many, many tapes of live performances by Dire Straits (for my own consumption 7 enjoyment only, I might say - - and I didn't record them myself, though I wish I had).
John M; Of course, the whole purpose of "fake news" IS to disseminate FAKE NEWS - - just like the Orange Orangutan does nearly every day on his Twit account...we could almost call him the Orange Twit!! (witness the many catalogues of his blatant lies, just since inauguration, dated & proven, and numbering in the hundreds - - don't believe me, Google it.)
Fonz: If I knew what a mishupkna was, I'd have one, just for you - - why do I suspect I'd be raising a glass?? How about a potato latke instead - - love 'em!
LB (No J)
ReplyDeleteSlow news day? Have a mishupkna.
Is that Yiddish for Pineapple? I can't tell because Google returns nothing.
Did you guys know there's a statue dedicated to our ANONYMOUS in Budapest? I wasn't sure who it was dedicated to until I realized the name was in all caps.
ReplyDeletehttps://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HU_Budapest_Anonymous_statue.jpg
LBJ -- I read some where that Julius Caesar had red hair I wonder if people called him Orange Julius behind his back. Just askin'.
ReplyDeleteJohn M. - Whoa is right! Also that Planet X (Nibiru) is supposed to collide with the Earth tomorrow -- hopefully they will get the game in.
Alphonso - looked up mishupka in "The Joys of Yiddish" by Leo Rosten He defines it as "A word frequently typed when a drunk person tries to type something Yiddish sounding."
El Duque - Nothing really. Just didn't want you to feel left out.
Doug K.
Girardi is "resting" Bird, since he is 1 for 11 against Estrada.
ReplyDeleteBird has not played this year against the Jays. At all. Last year, out all year.
So ABs from 2015, Bird's first in the majors. 2015. And Bird is a good lefty/eighty matchup with Estrada. And Bird was 3 for 4 on Wednesday.
But Joe thinks it's better to pull a guy after a really good game than a bad game. John Flaherty on the pre-game show just basically said "Wtf??" about this move. Curry a Girardi apologist, arguing for playing time for Bradley and "somebody has to sit."
I'm with Flaherty. It's one thing to have a mediocre manager who doesn't help you win, but another to have one you have to win in spite of.
Lefty/righty.
ReplyDeletePlaying time for Headley.
Is there a way to turn off spell correct on an Android?
NOOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteNO BIRD????
WTF!!
3 HITS.... A DAYS REST....AND A RIGHTY STARTING THE NEXT GAME?????
GIRARDI IS NOW BIRD'S BIGGEST IMPEDIMENT..
HE JUST WON'T LET HIM GAIN ANY MOMENTUM.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
WHAT A FUCKING SHIT-SHOW TONIGHT.
ReplyDeleteCASTRO A BIG ERROR...
TODD FRAZIER GETS CAUGHT ON THE HIDDEN BALL TRICK? ... ARE YOU KIDDING ME, IN A PENNANT RACE???
TANAKA SUCKED.
GIRARDI PULLED THE USUAL "DIPSEY-DOODLE" BY NOT PLAYING GREG BIRD AGAINST A RIGHT HANDER, AFTER A 3 HIT GAME, AND DAY'S REST.
GIRARDI HAD THE BOYS GOOD AND READY TONIGHT!
MF'ER....MF'ER.
Mishpucha, or how ever you spell it in the transliteration, is "family."
ReplyDeleteAnd I gotta go with ALL-CAPS on this...no more politics on the baseball site!!
The real question here is not Trump, but Girardi...how the hell can he go with Bird on the bench? Oy.
Also, we seem to be the only team Estrada can beat.
Also, if Tanaka DARES to go free agent after this year...I say let him sign with who he wants to sign, and I hope it's the Sox.
If the Master can tie in current events - - INCLUDING politics - - to baseball (which he sometimes does) - - so can we...as well as music, well-known personalities, philosophers, booze, washed-up sports figures, etc., ad nauseam.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, as I recall, all-caps just said he was going to stay out of this one - - it was some other anonymous troll who said that politics shouldn't be included in a baseball site...I think Duque does a marvelous job of blending in all the above elements into his commentary, and then some...
Believe me, after the night Judge had tonight, Joe would rest him tomorrow - - if he didn't know he would get ridden out of town (even Toronto) - - on a rail, and tarred & feathered...but most of the others only have us for a constituency - - so I'm relatively certain Judge will play. If not, though, WE KNOW WHY.
At this point, I almost wish Tanaka-San would do us a favor, and opt out. Just think of all the $$ Hal could spend next year, w/ Sabathia AND Tanaka off the books (or, in Sabathia's case, maybe brought back at a reduced rate). Hal could buy a damned decent starter for that money - - and still get under the luxury-tax rate (a few more minor contracts expire, too)...but he'd just BETTER NOT let all them go, and just pocket all that extra dough. LB (No J)
I've been terrified of this since our hot start. The sting of the inevitable backlash from his support, combined with my wish to see him humiliated on all fronts that won't result in good-people suffering, will suck a ton of joy out of whatever post-season push we muster. It already sucks knowing those fuctard Steinbrenner spawns are likely benefitting in some gross way from his administration. Hard to take joy in much of anything these days. At least I can throw on a set of noise canceling headphones and rock out to Sheer Mag for 43 minutes a pop.
ReplyDelete@LB (no J) Check out the band named The War On Drugs. Lots of Knopfler influence on their last two records (including the one Atlantic released this year). Definitely worth a listen.
ReplyDeleteI've been terrified of this since our hot start. The sting of the inevitable backlash from his support, combined with my wish to see him humiliated on all fronts that won't result in good-people suffering, will suck a ton of joy out of whatever post-season push we muster. It already sucks knowing those fuctard Steinbrenner spawns are likely benefitting in some gross way from his administration. Hard to take joy in much of anything these days. At least I can throw on a set of noise canceling headphones and rock out to Sheer Mag for 43 minutes a pop.
ReplyDeleteSayonara Kid,
ReplyDeleteThanks, I will check out The War On Drugs. Thanks, also, for your other comments, which I agree with whole-heartedly. Just look at what the Orange Dumb-Ass has stirred up since last night, FGS!! HE has first-amendment rights, but well-paid sports figures should NOT?? What a jerk-off!! LB (No J)
Great. Right back atcha. Full disclosure: I work for WMG/Atlantic, but would stand by the recommendation just the same.
ReplyDeleteThe War on Drugs are a great band.
ReplyDeleteI am waiting breathlessly for their new album. Their last one was spectacular.
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