Did the Yankees really fire Girardi without a replacement in mind?

Suddenly, we're watching a reality TV show - Bachelor: Cashman Court - where beefcake suitors from the MLB old boy network vie for the affections of Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman and the title of "Mr. Yankiverse." Categories include poise, talent and swimsuit. If news accounts are to be believed - (frankly, I don't know why we'd believe anything the Empire tells us, but that's another matter) - our diligent GM is already perusing candidates like a shopper studying the live lobsters at Wegmans. 

Last night, shortly after A-Rod told a breathless world he'd rather "own" a team than manage one, the comedy duo of David Cone and John Flaherty "tossed their hats into the ring," so to speak, at a presumably well-oiled charity event. (Apparently, Stiller & Meara are retired.) What is it with announcers? They have the creamiest job in humanity - three in the YES booth, with nothing to do but yippity-yap about Pauly O'Neill's donut intake - yet they think they can solve the mystery of Dellin Betances? Crazy.

But let's return to the Central Thesis: Two weeks ago, when Cashman clipped Girardi like a sore toenail, expectations were that a replacement would be unveiled within hours, or shortly after the World Series ended. Yet here we are, nine days into a snowy November, apparently on the verse of a conga line of job interviews, like mobsters being hauled before a grand jury. Yesterday, bench coach Rob Thomson went before the secret tribunal. Good grief, is Cashman really expecting some genetically evolved Stump Merrill to "WOW" him in a one-on-one? Are they taking stool samples? Is this what Trump calls "extreme vetting?" WTF is going on? Some possibilities:

1. We had a first pick, and he said no. That could be Tim Naehring, a respected scout-turned-administrator within the franchise machine. Early on, when his name was mentioned, he said he wasn't interested. At first, I figured this was just somebody who was never going to get the job anyway saying he wasn't interested - sort of like A-Rod yesterday. Now, who knows? Or maybe it's someone on another team. Did someone scorn our advances? 

2. Cashman simply enjoys the process. Maybe it's just him having consolidated power like that Saudi oil prince, and he's now taking a victory Calgon Beauty Bath, while the "baseball men" sponge his backside and declare fealty, like Tyrion Lannister to the Mother of Dragons. Fuck if I know. I've never thought of Cashman in such terms, but after decades of getting coffee for the Stick Michaels and Bob Watsons - the ones who played - maybe he's loving the chance to see grown men grovel and peel grapes. I'd hate to think this, but his job could turn anybody crazy. Has he gone up the Hudson on us?

3. I'm completely wrong. Yes, this is hard to imagine, but I did once champion the cause of Mr. Slade Heathcott. (Listen, dammit: He's a free agent, only 27; if we trade Gardy and Ells, the Cotster could be our CF!) Maybe on Oct. 25 the Yankees understood just one thing: That warhorse Joe had become a pitcher of well-spent bong-water - not worth sipping - and that after 10 years - 10 lifetimes - he simply needed a farm on a hill with happy chickens. Hence - kaboom! - Cashman made the call before Joe's bedroom eyes talked him out of it. Once they decided Joe wasn't working, that a younger team needed a younger manager, that was that. But... if so, why the pageantry of bringing in Thomson - age 54, a year older than Joe?  

Jeez, I dunno. But something seems off. Are we really going to receive daily updates on who went before Cashman Court? And now, Coney and Flash? Are the Yankees taking slush-pile submissions? Where should I send my resume? I need to lose 20 pounds before putting on a two-piece.