1. At a baseball clinic, Hideki Matsui tells reporters he will help the Yankees try to sign Shohei Otani. To me, that means one thing: The Benihana Steakhouse! As The Master once insisted: It's not just a meal, it's an experience! If the Yankees can get Godzila and Babe together over sushi... well... it's an upper-decky from Hideki. (No word on whether Kei Igawa will join the Bomber recruitment team.)
2. Theoretically, MLB today learns whether Otani will become a free agent for 2018. Not sure I believe this timeline. Lawyers involved. Seems like we've been hearing for weeks that it was on, then off, then on. Wouldn't it be nice to know he was in the fold?
3. Today, MLB teams must finalize rosters to protect players before the December Rule 5 draft, which will likely be a huge Yankee bloodletting. We could lose two or three prospects, as teams follow Houston Astros tanking strategy: Piss all over your fans, finish last, draft high and eventually you're a genius. Last year, the San Diego Padres took Luis Torrens and sat him on the bench all season, effectively playing a 24-man roster. Teams will pick over our farm system like a wave of ants. Thus, a prediction: Before the day is done, the Yankees will trade Scranton OF Jake Cave for a handful of magic beans. They need roster space more than another fleet-footed LH outfielder, and while it's sad, it beats losing Cave for nothing.
4. Get this: Peter Gammons says the Yankees are among the front-runners to sign starter Alex Cobb, a claim that seemingly runs contrary to everything Hal Steinbrenner and Coop Cashman have said recently. Cobb will demand a big, lengthy contract, almost certainly vaulting the Yankees back over the luxury tax threshold that ruins Food Stamps Hal's morning coffee. Not saying Gammons is wrong; he once turned me on to Susan Tedeschi. But maybe he thinks this is 1997?
5. Keep looking up! Maybe the Navy is drawing a penis in the sky.
Can you see the sky in Syracuse?
ReplyDeleteNow that would be a thrilla by Godzilla if he could convince Ohtani to come to us and not the Dodgers or Mariners (who oddsmakers have inexplicably put at the top of the list).
ReplyDeleteHas anyone seen the reports that Jeter is asking for multiple top prospects for Stanton AND for a team to eat that entire awful contract? As my dad put it, "Jeter is delusional and a total fucking moron." Cashman could trade for Javy Vasquez a third time and Jeter might still be worse at this thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to get fully tuned in -- if Hideki is Godzilla, does that make Otani......Mothra?
Ohtani doesn't seem the type to jog off to Seattle to molder with the Mariners. That's a mid-career thing, essentially after you've given up trying to fulfill your potential. (Hi Robbie!) Plus, I'm almost certain that he wants a ring. If Ohtani chooses Seattle, he'll have to find a jeweler and make a ring for himself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I think we have a bigger issue to consider: is Brian Cashman possessed?
ReplyDeleteIs this one of those "Ghost" or "Gabriel Over the White House" things, where some greater spirit—maybe the ghost of Branch Rickey?—has taken over his body?
I saw the pitchers he got for Rumbelow. I saw the one he got for Herrera, and I have to say...they seem to have some real potential.
What's going on? He hasn't traded for or drafted a single player who has suffered a catastrophic injury for months now. Who is Zombie Cashman??? And how can we keep him going?
The answer that you seek lies in a cave high on a very steep hill surrounded by the ocean. ZombieGirardi lives quietly there. ZombieGirardi alternates between pushups and quiet reflection over binders. The binders warp and fray from the moist sea breezes. ZombieGirardi lives off of what he forages, combined with the contents of a small brown satchel of protein powder—his only indulgence.
ReplyDeleteSuzyn visited once. She asked nervously about Thanksgiving plans. ZombieGirardi replied only by extending his arms, as if to say “Here. I will be here.” ZombieGirardi told Suzyn that it was time to go, that walking on the rocks at night is not safe. Suzyn hugged ZombieGirardi goodbye.
ReplyDeleteIBW: You're on a roll. This killed me.
GREAT STUFF IBW!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ZOMBIEGIRARDI....
HAHAHA!
As the Scooter would've said: "WHITE—you're on fire!"
ReplyDeleteAnd just as I write the above, the JuJu gods descend upon me, and Cashman deals Garret Cooper and Caleb Smith to Jeter's Marlins.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
Sorry about that, guys. I will go and sacrifice a goat to them.
And hey, at least he got a pitcher who looks halfway decent, and $250,000 more in Otani money. And I guess it means that they're not giving up on Mike Ford...
Does anyone think we gave up too much here? Cooper was hitting great here and could have been our DH and PT 1B. If they want this Otani guy, they better get Darvish signed. That's Otani's hero.
ReplyDeleteJoe Formerly from Brooklyn brings up an important point.
ReplyDeleteMothra? Gamera? Rodan?
This is something that has to be determined before Spring Training. If we sign the guy.
And what would the call be?
ReplyDelete"Shohei, Sho-far, and Sho-gone!"?