It is off season, right?
We are desperately searching for interesting subject matter. Perhaps even to initiate a controversy or two.
So I will lead off.
Everyone really tired of Joey Binders. A good man ( helped people in distress ), an old-line baseball guy ( played the game, was cerebral due to catching at Northwestern ), and loyal as an old hunting dog ( played the old guys with huge contracts ).
But he had a number of flaws, including the " sitting down" of every young kid who ever got called up, had a great day ( e.g. 3-4 ) and seemed set for stardom. If Joe had been manager in 1947, Lawerence Peter Berra never would have gotten a shot.
But I hear he Jo Gerardi gone. " Done and dusted, " as my old coach used to say.
Time to move on.
Here are my reasons for a woman manager:
1. Cut down on the spitting of pumpkin seeds. Players will chew on dried Kale.
2. Own the " back-pages " of the NY media. No need for depth on this one.
3. Woman preserved the game for America during the WWII era, and they have earned a shot.
4. Women can do anything ( go to space, free climb the toughest rock wall in the universe within a millisecond of the top man's time; win the NYC marathon; win ninja competitions; fly military jets; write comics; act ).
5. Will look good in pinstripes, and they like young kids ( giving hope to prospects at Scranton/ Trenton ).
6. Will play small ball when small ball is called for. Like women's basketball; they stress and execute the fundamentals of the game.
7. Umps can't win an argument with a woman.
8. Many of the ballplayers have wives /girlfriends, who will relate.
9. Guys want to show off for a woman ( good for cutting down on our strikeout records ).
10. Women are better at interpersonal relations ( more effective use of bullpen ).
Now that the gender argument is over, I will leave the candidate selection to you.
ReplyDelete11. Visits to the mound will smell nicer.
Brilliant especially the kale chewing part.
ReplyDeleteOut urban farm will gladly supply a unlimited amount of it, fresh or dried, for some nice publicity.
So exciting I still have to read the rest of it. Is subsidy part of it? There must be a National Association for the Advancement of Female Baseball Managers (NAAFBM) that will help the child owner to keep the costs down.
Suzyn may be looking for a gig. Just say'n...
ReplyDeleteSuzyn, for sure!
ReplyDeleteSuzyn!
ReplyDeleteTaylor Swift is good at punishing disloyalty.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin.'
Wait... I just HAVE to say something about you folks beating the drum for Suzyn. Think about what you're doing...
ReplyDeleteIf Suzyn were to take the job, it would be a cruel and direct undercutting of The Master, who for years has yearned to manage. He's earned the right, dammit. If Suzyn were to sashay into the clubhouse and take the job, it would rob John of all his pride and dignity. Yes, he would be supportive. That's John. But none of us would feel good about the injustice that would have gone down.
I recognize that it's fun on this site to imagine certain things, and to "go off" in different directions. But some of you should think a little more before writing things that would be so fundamentally hurtful to a great Yankee announcer.
Check this out smh
ReplyDeletehttps://sports.yahoo.com/yankees-manager-search-going-turn-reality-tv-show-191227368.html
My Top Female Candidates For Yankee Manager:
ReplyDeleteJoanna Girardi - He has takes the hormones, has the sex change, and learns the sensitivity and deep caring skills that cost him the job in the first place.
Doug K.
I agree Duque. However we must consider that John's window for being manager passed with his eyesight. I can just imagine him sitting in the dugout trying to figure out what's going on and what his next move based strictly off of crowd reactions. Thus I'm proposing the very first, to my knowledge, co-managers: John and Suzyn. Suzyn tells him what happened and after a discussion that lasts 8 pitches they make a joint decision.
ReplyDeleteJohn's throne is in the booth. Suzyn's place is in the, uh, booth. If we want a female manager and are willing to get serious about the subject, as opposed to the frivolous talk so far, we need to start talking about Madonna.
ReplyDeleteMadonna would crack the team into shape. Suzyn as Bench Coach!
ReplyDeleteProud and famous Yankees fan Hillary Clinton is also looking for meaningful employment. Can you imagine the furious confrontations with umpires after calling Judge out on a third strike just above his ankles? She'd handle the Commissioner's Office as she handled the DNC prior to her nomination. Just the edge we need to launch another dynasty!!
ReplyDeleteThere'd be many changes if HRC were to become our skipper. Cap Day replaced by Pussy Hat Day. Say good bye to Bat Day (too phallic). Yanks become the new darlings of main stream media types. Lots and lots of new middle aged female fans, all sporting pin strip pants suits, naturally. and finally, a change that you guys can really get behind: no more Trump and O'Reilly sightings at The Stadium!
ReplyDeleteYankee's press conference after Hillary pulls Tanaka after 5 and has Betances try to get the last 12 outs.
ReplyDeleteMeredith: Hillary why did you pull Tanaka in the 5th inning when he was only at 60 pitches?
Hilldog: Well you know I didn't actually pull him from the game, there was a decision made that I was not privy to that would take a course of action that was deemed most appropriate for the situation the Steinbrenner administration had put me in.
Suzyn: Hilary what is the likelihood of seeing Billy Mckinney in the majors this year with the injury to Hicks.
Hilldog: Well Suzyn, as you know I'm a big fan of Billy. In fact my husband is actually named after him, so I think there's a good chance.
There's just stretches of her not in the dugout because she's taking old lady shits like she had to in that one debate. She falls up the dugout steps during routine trips to the mound. As funny as the idea of her managing the Yankees is, I don't think she has to constitution to coach sit in the sun during the dog days of summer.
KD, are you kidding? If the Yankees had a female manager, Trump and O'Reilly would become fixtures in the clubhouse, checking her out.
ReplyDelete...not if was Hillary, they wouldn't, Duque... Just sayin'... LB (No J)
ReplyDelete
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