The official naysayer of the Yankiverse turns... OMG... old.
To celebrate the occasion, the Yankees will today...
1. Trade Glyber Torres to Pittsburgh for Gerrit Cole.
2. Announce that Luis Severino will undergo TJ surgery and miss 2018.
3. Sign Todd Frazier to a 10-year deal.
4. Bring back Alphonso's favorite Yankee pitcher, Phil Hughes.
5. Trade Clint Frazier and the rest of the top 10 prospects for Robbie Cano.
6. Install all of his notorious "Tylers" - Wade, Austin, Toby, etc. - as starters.
7. Name Jacoby Ellsbury team captain.
8. Give Cooperstown Cashman a lifetime contract.
Alphonso will obviously never turn "old".
ReplyDeleteI met the kid a few months ago.
He was bursting with typical adolescent energy.
He ran so Flock of Seagulls fast (and far away back home) I had trouble keeping up.
He drank like his third liver was just newly implanted.
He talked so Dolly Parton straight, i needed sugar when I got home.
"And if you want a drink,
Just squeeze my hand and wine will flow into the land
And feed my lambs".
The 2018 Yankees.
Sometimes it is better to lose and do the right thing than to win and do the wrong thing.
Alphonso always knows what the wrong things are and prefers to win doing the right thing.
Would be nice to win though.
Happy birthday Fonzie and many, many more!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Alphonso! Deep down inside, we all know that you are right all the time.
ReplyDelete<a href="http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/297/420/steinbrennerfists_display_image.jpg?1279054490>Happy Birthday, Alph, buddy!</a>
ReplyDeleteLet's try this again. Happy Birthday, Alph, buddy!
ReplyDeleteI can't think of a finer example of true Yankee fan spirit than Alphonso. Happy birthday, sir.
ReplyDeleteAnd I continue to agree with you about practically everything.
Nice pic, Mustang.
ALPHONSO IS THE GLUE OF THIS SITE.
ReplyDeleteKEEPING US GROUNDED AT ALL TIMES.
NEVER LETTING US KEEP OUR GUARD DOWN.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLACK SWAN.
JACK IS GOOD.....
ReplyDelete....BUT A SUGGESTION....
GENTLEMAN JACK HAS NOW MOVED AHEAD ON MY LIST.
BIG ROCKS GLASS.
SIP.
SIP.
SIP.
GONE.
EXTRAORDINARY.
A momentous day like today calls for breaking out the Woodford Reserve—and I will seize the excuse to do so!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to one of our two wonderful hosts. Without you both, rooting for the Yankees would be a lonely, neurotic, twisted exercise.
Thanks to you both, it's a twisted, neurotic exercise with the best company in the world.
As Dylan, I think, wrote:
"May your days be free of Cole
May you see the Red Thunder come
And may you stay
Forever young."
Thank you all, so much. I promise never to compromise. I shall remain truthful, accurate and merciless.
ReplyDeleteAnd ALL CAPS - For Xmas, I purchased the largest bottle of Gentleman Jack you can find. Got it at Costco, where everything is supersized.
I discovered this fine liquid form of fun about a year ago.
And it is the best.
Oh mighty all-knowing, all-seeing omnipotent one...
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI was out of town the past few days so I can only pass along a belated birthday wish. Hope it was a good one.
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God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.