The One that Got Away

From the great Doug K

The One That Got Away (with apologies to Tom Waits and Alphonso)


Well, this gigolo is jumpin' salty, ain't no trade out on the streets
No one will take Ellsbury, cause the Giants got cold feet.
But he’s got a bunch of prospects and there will be hell to pay
He’s got a goal. His name is Cole he’s the one that got away.

Could have rested on his laurels. Could have been a wheel
been happy with Giancarlo cause you know that was a steal.
A quick resign of CC, even that one seemed OK.
He’s got the knack he want’s to crack the one that got away'

He drafted Cole at number one. When the Yankees didn’t work.
Because we needed pitching and the fans were goin’ berserk.
Even though the guy said he off to UCLA.
Cashman pissed away the truth and drafted Gerrit anyway. (Thanks Alphonso)

Now Gerrit Cole is older and his fastball’s lost it’s snap. He gives up homers like Phil Hughes and his change up’s turned to crap.
But we’ll give away Red Thunder before he’s had a chance to play.
Cashman’s been scorned. You’ve been forewarned. Cole’s the one that got away.

His trigger finger’s itchy and Cole’s entering his prime.
And he’s cost controlled for two years and Hal loves to save a dime.
Soon the cabinet will be empty ‘till there’s no one left to play.
He’s heard the call he’ll trade them all for the one that got away.

Well, he’s lost his equilibrium, and we’d finally turned the tide.
The Baby Bombers looking good and restoring Yankee Pride.
If he makes these trades it’s only time till the place feels just like Shea.
Just play the rooks. Don’t make us schnooks cause there’s one that got away'.