For your consideration: The IT IS HIGH All-Yankee 2018 Hall of Fame Ballot

Players, year of eligibility, last year's % of vote

First, let's note that without Roger Maris, Thurman Munson, Willie Randolph and Bernie Williams, the national Baseball Hall of Fame is a sick joke perpetrated by the lie that Abner Doubleday invented baseball in some cow pasture near Cooperstown, which is like saying Paris Hilton invented herpes.

Seriously. That Roger Maris remains unrecognized by the Hall - the greatest single season home run hitter in history whose head didn't grow the size of a beach ball - is an indictment of all other great but short-lived careers, most notably Saint Sandy of LA. That Thurman and Willie go overlooked are simple cases of anti-Yankee bias among the Gammonites. And, as for Bernie, apparently, those four championships - a feat we won't see again in our lifetimes - won themselves. 

Playing in NYC has its perks - both financial and reproductive - but getting voted into the Hall of Fame is not one. Kirby Pucket goes in after 12 years, everybody feeling bad because an eye injury ended his career. Then he becomes a groping, one-man #MeToo inspiration. But Bernie plays 16 seasons, holds down CF, bats third for great teams, becomes a renowned guitarist - yet players from Nowhere, Minnesota, deserve extra recognition, right?
So... my votes:

Rocket Roger Clemens. You know what? I'd vote for this guy just to piss off Redsock fans, because last time I heard, he was never going to wear another Boston cap due to the horrible way his wife was treated at Fenway. Yeah, there's the steroids thing, but if you want to start applying morality to Cooperstown - well, how about Babe Ruth (drunk), Cap Anson (racist), Orlando Cepeda (pot smuggler), Gaylord Perry (spitball cheater) Rogers Hornsby (gambler), Duke Snider (tax cheat), Maury Wills (coke fiend), Wade Boggs (sex addict), Ted Williams (womanizer), Ty Cobb (evil incarnate) and many, many more. Yeah, Rocket did steroids. He also did USO tours for the troops in the Persian Gulf and once inspired Suzyn Waldman to near blow out her vocal chords. Someday, a new generation of writers will vote him into the Hall. Does he have to die first? 

Mike Mussina. In his final year, 2008, Moose broke the jinx and won 20 - the lone source of pride on a godforsaken Yankee team. (Remember how our playoffs hopes ended? Joggy Cano watched a ground ball roll into right field without even diving.) Let's not kid ourselves: Mussina would go in wearing an O's cap - 10 years in Baltimore vs 8 with us. And, damn, if only Carl Everett hadn't blooped a single into left center - on a 1-2 count no less - Moose would have thrown a perfect game, and I think his plaque would be assured. (Fun fact: The losing pitcher for Boston that night was David Cone, who also belongs in the Hall!)

Gary Sheffield. No relation to Justus. He actually hurt us in the 2003 World Series against Florida. But I like Shef because he once took a punch from a fan in Boston, while chasing a foul, and damn he was pissed. Great hitter, too. Remember "the team of a thousand runs?" "Murderer's Row, and then Cano?" Unfortunately, neither team won it. (Again, see: REASONS BERNIE BELONGS IN COOPERSTOWN.)

Johnny Damon. He'd probably go in wearing a Royals cap - six seasons in KC, four in both Boston and New York - and his grand slam against Javier Vanquished Vazquez effectively ended the Curse of the Bambino. But the guy once stole two bases on one pitch, and in the end, when Boston tried to acquire him for a stretch drive, he said no, still feeling betrayed. He loved being a Yankee. 

Hideki Matsui. Come on, folks, a great Yankee. In game six of the 2009 World Series, he went 3-4 with a HR, a two-run double and a 2-run single. But I still think of his critical double in the eighth inning of the 2003 Aaron Boone game - Boston left Pedro in, even though lefty Alan Embree was ready - which rallied us from a 5-2 deficit. Said to have great porn collection, too!

It's possible - no, PROBABLE - that no Yankee will be selected this year. Moose is probably our best bet, and the tide hasn't turned on Clemens. But to all those Boston fans who scream about the Rocket's drug-tainted records, lets look forward to hearing them rationalize Big Papi's enshrinement, when his drug-tainted record becomes eligible.