There is a psychological reason why humans regularly picture the apocalypse. By contemplating asteroids, earthquakes, volcanoes and tornadoes full of chainsaw-wielding sharks, being stuck in snow on the New York State Thruway just doesn't seem so bad.
Which brings me to today's apocalyptic Yankee news...
The Empire has signed Danny Espinosa to a minor league contract.
Crickets.
Okay, for a moment, let's consider the worst-case scenario in Tampa. What if three weeks from now, Glyber Torres, Miguel Andujar, Tyler Wade, Thairo Estrada and Ronald Torreyes arrive in Tampa with gonads the size of weather balloons due to chronic re-tweaking, thereby scratching the 2018 Yankee infield youth movement. If that happens, we would turn to Espinosa - our first "Espy" since Alvaro Espinosa became one of Phil Rizzuto's faves during the dark ages - (Matt Nokes, Deion Sanders, Mel Hall) - between 1988 and 1991, part of the 14-Year Barfield Barf.
Espinosa is a 30-year-old, good-field, no-hit utility infielder who would handle 3B or 2B if everybody else Buckners his way back to Scranton. Last year, Espinosa bounced across three teams, hitting .173 with 6 home runs and four Ks per every 10 at bats. He's a switch-hitter, much in the way pitchers are switch-hitters. Since 2013, he's hit .207. (Note: By comparison, the light-hitting Alvaro Espinosa produced a career Ruthian average of .254.)
Here's where things get scary. Don't be surprised if Espinosa isn't in the lineup on opening day. Much has been written about the looming Yankee front office strategy of holding back Torres and/or Andujar for the first six weeks, thereby robbing them of a year of leverage in future contract arbitration. Other teams do it. I suppose the Yankees might, as well. That could leave Espinosa and Jace Peterson - another veteran glove - to bat eighth and ninth through the month of April.
Theoretically, the '18 Yankees won't need hits from the bottom of the lineup. If the big guys don't produce, we are toast. The last two won't save us. And there is a bright spot here: By acquiring Espinosa, it looks more as though Cashman won't sign some expensive free agent - (gulp, the Toddfather) - who will have to play, regardless of how the rookies do. Instead, Cash is combing the scrap heap, contemplating the apocalypse. Let it snow.
It's obvious they are not looking at the same analytics that you are...
ReplyDeletewe knew cash would sign an infielder. Thank God it turned out to be a harmless noodle-batted defensive insurance policy. RIP Toddfather's Yankees career. Go forth and prosper Mr. Frazier. We'll always have our Thumbs Down memories. I even bought the shirt.
ReplyDeleteExactly Duque, KD. (And I have that shirt, too.)
ReplyDeleteEvery Danny Espinosa signed is a step away from addiction. One day at a time, Coop, one day at a time.
As for the Toddfather, what's that song I hear? "Meet the Mets, meet the Mets/ Come right out and beat the Mets..."
A great clubhouse presence can be a great clubhouse presence anywhere. Even in Flushing.
By the way, the Espinosa signing didn't even make the wire service copy in the Times today.
ReplyDeleteInstead, we got a big piece about how Beckham—David, not Tim—is FINALLY bringing an MLS team to Miami. Well thank goodness that struggle is over.
And then...ANOTHER big piece, fretting over the fears that the FIFA vote over where to play the 2026 World Cup might be corrupt. Who knew?
That puts our total at 14-1, Soccer over Yankees so far this year.
Though the piece that really burned my buttons was one about how the NHL is disdaining to let its players go to the Winter Olympics next month.
This was supposedly a big reason why the IOC dropped baseball from the Summer Games: MLB wouldn't let the best ballplayers in the world take a three-week hiatus every four years to play in their tournament.
So, why does ice hockey get to stay in?
Not that I'm complaining on behalf of baseball. Short tourneys for baseball are ridiculous. They settle nothing, and Bud Selig's World Baseball Classic from Hell is already stupid and destructive enough.
But the baseball ban was used as a reason to also deep-six women's softball, as somehow the Olympics now have to be perfectly aligned by gender.
That was a terrible thing to do to the world's softball players, who really don't have another big stage. And what the hell—we can't let women get one sport up on us for a change? To make up for the century or so when they were barely represented?
Let the Games begin—the real ones, down in Florida.
Cashman always reverts to form. He is a fear-driven man. No gonads to tweak there.
ReplyDelete
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