I'd just like to apologize for being so late on my first official post today.
As it happens, I spent most of the day being grilled by the Boston police and FBI bankrobbing expert Jon Hamm.
I have to admit that my previous implication that I had J.D. Martinez batoned at the behest of my security expert, "Jeff Stone," was simply a cover story. My real purpose for being in Boston was indeed to knock off the Fenway Park cash room, working on a plan devised by a criminal florist.
It was a quiet, simple plan involving a mere six SUVs, an ambulance, five police cars, two helicopters, a gang of 30 men armed with automatic rifles and dressed like really ugly nuns, and the back-up line of the Rockettes.
Somehow, this all went wrong, and I would have been toast if it had not been for the heroic sacrifice made by my childhood best friend, David Ortiz, who distracted the police by covering the sun with his head.
I was able to make my own escape cleverly disguised as Yaz, chain-smoking and muttering incessantly about how I made the last out in the epic seasons of 1967, 1975, and 1978.
That said, I am happy to report that the Yankees knocked another point off Soccer's commanding lead today, albeit with a Times piece that managed to bury the lede, throwing in at the end of an interminable article about Russell Wilson that, huh, Clint Frazier suffered a concussion by running into walls repeatedly. Oy.
Anyway, that puts it at Soccer 27, Yanks 15 for the year, BUT...the Yanks nearly clinching February with a 14-12 advantage. Get better, Red Thunder!
Amazing how closely this mirrors my own escape from Beantown, during the '96 World Series...I'd advise you to stay here, where you're fully appreciated & valued, HC. LB (No J)
ReplyDeleteThanks, LB (No J)! And really, it's a relief being able to pronounce my "r's" again.
ReplyDeleteWhy can I not shake the nagging suspicion that this whole episode was orchestrated by Curt "The Hurt" Schilling? I know that he's way too dim to actually orchestrate something by design, but he may have set a chain of events in motion UNINTENTIONALLY while making a phone call. Anything is possible, you know. You know? I thought you did.
ReplyDeleteNow - I'm not a conspiracy freak - and I don't trust anybody who says he or she is not a conspiracy freak - but anything is possible. You know? YOU KNOW?
Okay, I'm going to go and curate my image online. My legion of followers is waiting for my next nugget of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHey HC66, I'm glad to see you're a formal post-er.
To your point, about Yaz: I have a friend who's a lifelong Red Sox fan. He was born and raised on the North Shore so he comes by it honestly. I don't hold it against him. He's a season ticket holder and, until recently, taught at Harvard Medical School. A pretty bright and personable guy with a good balanced life, in other words.
He told me that the best Yankees T-Shirt he ever saw someone wearing in Fenway consisted of a navy blue shirt with the Yankees logo underneath these words in white letters:
Yaz
Popped
Out
Referring, of course, to 1978.
ReplyDeleteI really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.