At age 33 - (34 in June) - Lincecum is seven years removed from elite status with the SF Giants, and three since he threw more than 100 innings. In his last, torture-porn incarnation with the Angels, he was horrible, Anthony Scaramuchi-bad, with an ERA over 9.00 in 38 firebombed, air-sickness innings. That was 2016. He didn't bother showing up last year. He was probably rolling sushi.
And yet... here he is, lacing up his Doc Dentons and attempting to be John Travolta. And before anybody yells, "Battlefield: Earth," I offer one word:
Bartolo.
Bar. Toe. Low.
Okay, I know what you're thinking: Duko, you done gonna batshit, Glen Beck-crying crazy batshit. The mere fact that the Yankees once gave Bartolo Colon a final chance, which he parlayed into a second career, does not mean it can happen again. Odds are Lincecum will get hammered in spring training by some Zolio Almonte clone, end up in Scranton and then disappear into some sanctuary city to pour gluten-free wine to Trump-supporting Junior Leaguers.
But but BUT... if there is one piece yet to be played for the 2018 Yankees, it is the opportunity for a cast-off pitcher to return with sheer guile and maybe some slippery elm - a guy who gives us 100 innings until July, when the Domingos and Justuses take over.
My guess is that Lincecum will sign for around $2 million - slightly more than porn star hush money, these days - and he's a gamble worth taking. He won't pitch in the all-star game. He won't be our third starter. But he could be the sixth man, and we will need one. If anybody thinks the current rotation will stay healthy, let them note the ankle brace CC was wearing yesterday, when golf-carted to his car, following the first action-packed day of soft-tossing. He must have stepped on a sparrow.
The Yankees can afford a high-risk, piss-away-some-of-Hal's-money signing this spring. If Lincecum flops, no harm, no foul. It just means more of a chance for the Domingo Acevedos or the Domingo Germans. He either pitches his way onto the team, or he vanishes into the fast food joints of Clark Summit.
Supposedly, the Yankees will send a scout for today's audition. Whoopie. They'd be fools to skip it. Let's hope they like what they see, and lay down some cash. Let's dare to dream about 2018. We have three Aarons and a lineup full of potential. It would be nice to have a Freak.
This is so like Hal. Flush away the Yankees Natural Advantage (i.e. MONEY!) by not signing Darvish (in order to save a few coins) and then scour the trash heap looking for a broken appliance that might still be useful if skillfully repaired.
ReplyDeleteThe Yanks have what looks to be a great team in the making. We know they will need starting pitching before summer arrives. They could have had Darvish but passed because they did not want to pay a tax they could easily afford. Now they are trolling for trash fish. I, for one, will sit on my hands. Not clapping for Hal's profit margin.
Well KD you can take the billionaire out of the food stamps but you can't take the food stamps out of the billionaire.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell. Sign the guy. If nothing else, he's fun.
ReplyDeleteExactly—sign him if he shows anything.
ReplyDeleteKD, I agree with you completely about not having a care in the world about the Steinbrenner family portfolio.
But aren't there now all kinds of crazed penalties for breaking the salary limit this many times in a row? I mean, not just money, which to the Steinbrenners is like so many salt peanuts, but also forfeited draft picks, etc?
I'm not sure, as I've devoted myself to the simpler task of studying rare Byzantine religious icons, but wouldn't the current MLB agreement sock it to us in new and terrible ways?
Plus, anything to push the kids up is fine by me.
Another tough decision in the Times today, with a Tyler Kepner column on Derek Jeter.
ReplyDeleteSure, it's mostly about the Marlins...but also about the Yanks during Jeter's playing days, as he cleverly dodges a question (the Captain would make a terrific politician) and discussion about him luring away Gary Denbo.
My special, IOC Ethics Committee, now thoroughly satiated with warm sake, rules that it is indeed a Yankees article.
Of course, Rory Smith, now officially the hardest working man in show business, had another column today, this one on the Champions League, so the day was a wash.
Our totals:
Year: Soccer 25, Yankees 7; February: Soccer 10, Yankees 6.
I hear Al Hyrabosky is working on a knuckleball maybe we should sign him too.
ReplyDeleteDoug K.
If we had a Sterling database we could cue up his rendering of “Lincecum”. I bet it’s wetter than the bottom of a Disney World flume boat.
ReplyDeleteSome Questions Heading into Spring Training
ReplyDeleteI’ve been reading a lot of pundits and blogs about the issues facing the 2018 Yankees and essentially, it’s the same article over and over. I won’t even bother to mention what they wrote because if you are on this site you already know.
Here are some of the issues that don’t seem to get a lot of attention…
1) Giancarlo Stanton is a very, very wealthy man. Aaron Judge has not yet and might not ever get, a big payday. Statistically they are very similar and play the same position. How much does Aaron Judge hate him? When they go out to lunch does Stanton always feel like he has to pick up the check?
2) Sonny Grey checks in at 5’ 10” but I get the feeling that if one of the bigger Yankees picks him up after a win a la Ronald Toreyes he will get a face full of fist. Right?
3) Aaron Boone said he wanted a loose clubhouse but one with a high degree of professionalism. Has that ever worked out?
4) Is Tank McNamara still a comic strip? I’m just asking.
5) If (OK, when) the Yankees win the World Series will they go to White House to meet President Hatch? That’s right I’m saying it. You do the math.
6) It must be very hard to be Jacoby Elisbury (and ex Yankee Starlin Castro) because even though they are several lifetimes rich don’t we all just want love?
7) And last… are there people at the Hebrew Home for the Aged who listen to the radio broadcasts and every time John Sterling mentions it go, “Hey that’s us!” ? I know I would.
Doug K.
Outstanding, Doug K.! Hee-hee!
ReplyDeleteI have a crack team of researchers checking out the Tank McNamara cartoon status. I don't remember much about it, except that there was a running joke about how Tank always screwed up and announced he was going to read the "Nort Spews."
Isn't it sad that I actually have a brain cell that retains that information? What might it be holding instead? Probably something about breasts.
Clark's Summit, please. Observe the possessive. Mr Clark must have been a mover and shaker. Just north of his Summit is a Green, Clark's Green. And if Timmy keeps on going along Route 6 for 15 minutes he'll get to Factoryville, birthplace of the greatest ever Giants pitcher, Christy Mathewson. Ah, the webs of the game.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWith typo corrected for Mr. Grammar Man:
ReplyDeleteQuick check of Mr. Google shows the name of the town to be Clarks Summit with no apostrophe (with corresponding spelling for Clarks Green).
You must have all known that, watching the all-important figure skating event at some athletic (sic) event in Korea. Seems a native son of Clarks Summit help them finish in the coveted third spot.
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