... and they run up a huge tab. Unfortunately none of them brought any money with them. So the owner comes out from the back and he says, “I will let you slide on the bill if you do some announcing for me.”
The three of them look at each other and say, “Sure, why not? What you you like us to call?” and the owner says, “You see that guy over there? Every night he comes in here and he picks a fight. It’s getting tiresome. But if you guys call the fight it might make it more enjoyable for the rest of the patrons.
Sure enough ten minutes later the guy is in someone’s face. Red Barber goes, “This is Red Barber speaking. Let me say hello to you all. Looks like we’ve got a rubarb! Oh doctor!” and the owner says, “That’s good. OK you can go.”
As Red is leaving the bar the guy starts to shove one of the patrons and the owner points to Mel Allen. And Mel says, “ Hello everybody this is Mel Allen. It’s a beautiful day for a bar fight. The little guy swings.. oh he took a good cut but hit the waitress. How about that!” And the owner says, “Thanks. You can go” and as Mel walks out the door he says, “I am going..going.. gone”
So now the fight is getting out of control and he turns to David Cone and Coney says, “ I think I know that guy. He and I used to cruise the bars together when I was with the Royals. It was different time back then.” And the owner says, “Are you going to call the fight or what?” and Coney says, “Nah fuck that. I’m out of here” and he starts to leave.
Just then the owner and the bartender leap across the bar grab him and as Coney goes flying through the window he says, “ I have a launch angle of 38 degrees and an exit velocity of 10 MPH.“
That's beautiful, Doug.
ReplyDeleteWhat a giant pile of shit. The Yankees, not the joke.
ReplyDeleteBada-Bing!!
ReplyDeletePlease....don't forget to tip your server.
First of all, it's rhubarb, not rubarb.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mel Allen said, "Hello, there, everybody . . ." not "Hello, everybody."
Finally, if anybody actually found this witless drivel funny--got even a titter out of it--then you're lying.
Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees lose again--not merely here, on this blog, but tonight to what is reputedly the worst team in the history of baseball, extending back to the first known mention of the game in the work of Jane Austen:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/3562873/Jane-Austen-wrote-about-baseball-40-years-before-it-was-invented.html
Oh anon,
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for you. All you offer is criticism. Yes, I can't but appreciate how erudite you are, but you are missing so much. You didn't like the joke. OK. That's fair. But that you need to insult people for enjoying it. Or me for trying, reflects on you not us.
My hope for you is that at some point you get beyond your pettiness (unless by the way you are a regular who takes on this persona just to screw around - in which case I say - I don't love it but I respect your attempts to inject an alternate perspective and only wish you weren't such a dick about it.
But if this is really you. The real you. My heart goes out to you. Stop. You are obviously intelligent. But stop. I hope whatever drives you to this type of criticism, this trolling, goes away so you can find some peace.
Doug K.
Doug K.--you obviously need to spend less time watching Dr. Phil and more time reading Oscar Wilde and/or Robert Benchley or Jack Handy to sharpen up your dull wit.
ReplyDeleteDoug, This sassy anon guy is just an a.i. algorithm. somebody with too much time on their hands came up with the perfect dick head that somewhat passes the Turing Test. although, if you read closely, there is absolutely nothing original in its posts. That is the tell. just the same tired old put downs of people more clever and kind hearted than its creator.
ReplyDelete
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