Wait, weren't losses like these Torre and Girardi's fault?

Back in spring training, we kept the secret. Nobody talked about the bullpen problem. Nobody wanted to mention last August, when Aroldis Chapman had his "episode." After years of terrifying batters, suddenly, he was torturing his manager. He couldn't throw strikes, ended up grooving fast balls and got hammered. Nobody had ever seen it. Even lefty hitters. So, all winter, we secretly wondered which El Chapo would show up in 2018? But nobody said a thing.

Then there was Betances. Nobody wanted to mention him. We just figured he'd gone through a phase last September, and he would return anew, unhittable, like the all-star he'd been. Not to worry. (But if a trade came up...)

And nobody pondered why the White Sox jettisoned D-Robb and Tommy K at the 2017 trade deadline. We just figured the 2018 Yankee bullpen was a sure thing, the most lock-down staff in the AL East, if not all of baseball.

So four games in, our secret is out: After Mean Chad Green, who can give us a scoreless inning in relief? 

Okay... get a grip... control yourself, Duque! Let's not relive yesterday's debacle. Life is too short. The juju gods played an April Fool's joke on Aaron Boone, that's all. Let's move on, though it's worth acknowledging one lesson: 

With a problem bullpen, it doesn't matter who is managing. 

What can Boone do? Nothing, really. 

He could turn into Torre - that is, ride Green like Scott Proctor, until his arm is falling off, and his glove and hat are burning at home plate. 

He can become Girardi - that is, create a "circle of trust," from which offending pitchers are one by one excluded. Trouble is, the circle eventually becomes a dot.  

He can listen to Larry Rothschild, though - seriously - this is the worst kind of deja vu, because it's not a trick of the mind: we actually have been here before. Realistically, what can Rothschild do that hasn't been tried before? Gender augmentation?

As I see it, all Boone can do is... stand for the National Anthem and look good for the cameras. Don't flinch. Don't vomit. Don't pee yourself. Chalk it up to a bad day at the dog tracks. Become a statue. Then, repeat.  

But last winter, our dirty little secret was the bullpen. One weekend in Toronto, and it's not a secret any more. Four runs is not enough to win a game.