So, not only is Boston playing record-setting baseball while we collapse, but gigantic rats have begun to roam freely around the Fenway Park outfield and dugouts.
Meanwhile, over 80 houses have exploded deep in Red Sox territory, necessitating the complete black out and evacuation of three towns with a total population of over 100,000.
This was blamed on "uneven gas line pressure."
Uh-huh.
Something's coming folks, and it ain't pretty.
For that matter, a red heifer was recently born in Israel.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7217719/bible-prophecy-apocalypse-firs-red-heifer-born-israel/
You will note the color, please: red. Has anyone checked to see if there's a "B" on its underbelly, right next to the "666"?
For that matter, has Aaron Judge REALLY been out for seven weeks? Or was it just that one day they walked into the locker room and found a gigantic, empty suit of clothes and shoes where he had been standing only a moment before?
And why do you think this team won't tell us a damned thing about where Ellsbury is????
Let's face it, folks, it's the Rapture. And if you think the likes of "Gary Sanchez" and "Greg Bird" are really who they're supposed to be—as opposed to horrible, demonic wraiths taking on their forms—well then you have another think coming, my friends.
Repent! Repent before it's too late!!!
Have we not spake of the Bird's hoof? Cloven inside the cleats?
ReplyDeleteHave we not spake of the sloth and craving of gravy fries of the Cubbsy? Chubby little piggies stuffed into cleats?
So endeth the Apocalypto JuJu.
Hoss,
ReplyDeleteThere have always been giant rats freely roaming Fenway they are called the Red Sox.
The news of the Red Heifer being born in Israel is fairly distressing, especially coming during the Days of Awe.
I immediately checked to see if there was a Red Lobster in Israel because that would be VERY bad both on a halachic (Jewish Law)level and bad for the diners who wander in. (Because... Red Lobster kinda sucks!)
Fortunately that is not the case. So maybe we have time.
As to other signs of the pending apocalypse... don't get me started.
However, as I tell my children, you don't have to worry about the earth ending. If we all go at once then we all go. Plus we will never have
to watch the NY Giants play football again so there is an upside. I am going to amend that to add watch a Gary Sanchez at bat with the game on the line.
That said, it might not be a bad time to clean up our acts. Or at least do a load of laundry.
Doug K.
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