Okay, let's clear away some more of the obvious junk—which, as Alphonso notes, will be the hardest to get rid of.
Sonny Gray: Do we dare to rid ourselves of the pitcher who's name fits so perfectly into every possible song parody, as we proved so brilliantly this summer?
The real trouble with Sonny, of course, is that at present he has actually zero trade value. I would say that we should try working with him and see if we can revive him to the point of at least inciting some mild interest. But in case you haven't noticed, this Yankees organization is not exactly adept at turning around anyone's career.
So what to do? Well, maybe someone in a small, un-pressurized market will notice just how good Sonny is outside of New York, and take a chance. I think that's the best we can hope for.
Tommy Kahnle: A lot of crack—or crackhead—commentators expressed shock that the Yankees' bullpen did not do better this year.
Well, bullpens usually go up and down from year to year, and the prime reason is guys like Kahnle, who some people were thinking should even take over the closer's role in 2017, and who looks all but done. Can he be revived? See above.
Lance Lynn: Or Hapless, as he became known around here, didn't exactly shine in his big postseason audition. Or at most any other time, either. At 10-10 with a 4.77 ERA, the beefy righthander was the very definition of mediocrity.
He was at least a relief to watch go right after batters after being treated to Sonny Gray's timorous approach...but little more. Batter went right back after him, and usually succeeded.
Bodies are bodies, but if the Yanks are forced to go this route, even for a No. 5 starter, next year, they are in trouble. Incidentally, for anybody wondering, the amazingly consistent Lynn is 5-4 with a 4.80 in the postseason. He's no choker. He's just not very good.
No sabes que ropas me queda
The Young Guns: It's rare that a group of highly rated young pitchers will all do so much to reduce their value in a single season, but the Yankees' farm arms managed it!
Luis Cessa, Lasagna, Domingo Deutschlander, the wonderfully named Chance Adams...all pretty much lived down to our lowest expectations in their shots at the big time.
Stephen Tarpley, the lefty, seemed to show something in the regular season. But he was quickly belted by Boston in the ALDS, and turns 26 in February. Jonathan Holder had some nice outings for us, but also looked as skittish as a young colt out there at times, as we say on the range.
Most disappointing of all was the long-awaited Sheffield. As Alphonso likes to say, rookies need to flash. Justus did not shine on us all—or any of us. I'm not sure he ever will.
Basically, as far as I'm concerned, you could wheel and deal this whole box of lugnuts without it making much difference.
One possible exception: the previously unheralded Mike King, who made a stunning dash through the farm system this year. He is worth giving a big looksee in spring training, I think.
Okay, okay, I'm gonna try to stay calm but you guys are triggering me with half of this crap. So just cool it you lot. I have The Clash playing and I'm channelling Joe Strummer (damm him for leaving us too soon).
ReplyDeleteAhem ... Sunny should be put in a burlap sack with some lead weights and then thrown into a molten glass furnace. That's that. Spake of it again, why don't you? Let's see what that gets you.
Kahnle is a fungible commodity. As are many right handed middle innings lugnuts. Meh.
Loretta would make me think of something really rough if he even registered on my consciousness. But he's too insignificant to think about. He's only a Cardinals retread, and I fucking hate the fucking St. Louis fucking Cardinals, fuck them all to hell on a red hot fucking curling iron.
Luis Cessa, Lasagna, Domingo Deutschlander, the wonderfully named Chance Adams? Stephen Tarpley is a lefty, no? Jonathan Holder? Young (very young) Justus Sheffield? They all come to spring training, and then we all hope and pray and JuJu the shit out of it until one or more of them become MLB stars and True Yankees.
I get a little breathless thinking about Mike King, but well, you know, ... TNSTAAPP ...
That goes for all the other Young Guns too, I fear ...
Hope, prayer (useless waste of time that it is) and mad ferocious JuJu.
Don't mess with me. I'm warning you all right now.
ReplyDeleteOK. I'm ready.
Sonny Gray: "Do we dare to rid ourselves of the pitcher who's name fits so perfectly into every possible song parody, as we proved so brilliantly this summer?"
Hoss I have to tell you that both made me laugh and gave me pause. Fortunately it was a mere caesura. As in... Uh(insert caesura) Dump Em.
Tommy Kahnle:
He's not on the 25 man so there's no reason not to keep him down on the farm. (And how many of you said to your selves, "After he's seen Paree") He has virtually no trade value. If he turns it around great! If not. No harm. No foul.
Lance Lynn - I'd rather watch Lance Link. Dump Em.
Luis Cessa - No el no puede. Dump Em.
Johnny Lasagna - Cold Lasagna is better than no lasagna at all. Keep Em.
Domingo German - Domingo uber alles. Keep Em.
Chance Adams - I'd rather give the ball to "Thing" Adams.
Stephen Tarpley, Jonathan Holder, Justus Sheffield. - Keep em all.
Mike King - Sure. Let's see what he has.
Doug K.
Ha-ha! An Al Jolson reference! I love it, Doug K.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I'm so old my parents actually had a record of Jolson singing that (many others must have, too). We used to play it, on our hand-cranked Victrola.
No, that last part is a lie, of course. We played it on something we called "the phonograph." We didn't have enough money to go hi-fi.
Seriously, though (or at least more or less seriously): How do we get rid of these guys? What can we expect to get for them?
How do we get rid of them?
ReplyDeleteI know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows
Kevin Bacon.
Someone will take Gray as a cheap reclamation/change of scenery project. We can get back the same. He actually might have value because he pitched well away from Yankee Stadium. He could go back to being in his words, "One of the top pitchers in baseball" Yes. He. Is. (Shhhhhh!)
The other ones are either gone anyway (Lynn) or are 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pieces of a trade for some other equally questionable players.
Doug K.
GRAY - DUMP
ReplyDeleteFAT LANCE- DUMP
KAHNLE - KEEP (SCRANTON TILL HE DOMINATES AND HITS 97-98 MPH AGAIN)
CESSA- DUMP
LASAGNA- KEEP
DOMINGO- KEEP
CHANCE- DUMP IN A DEAL.
TARPLEY, HOLDER, JUSTUS, KING- KEEP.
I THINK I HAVE JUST DITTOED WHAT DOUG K. SAID.
I'm with you, Winnie, especially on Joe Strummer. Something that made me choke up a few months ago was a guote from Henry Rollins:
ReplyDelete"This is not the time to be dismayed,this is punk rock time.This is what Joe Strummer trained you for."
Did you see "The Future is Unwritten," the documentary?
Anyway, we can haggle all we want on who goes, who stays. We are powerless. 3D Master Chess Player High Lord Guardian of the Braintrust Universe Cashmaniac will make all the moves. He will then write the history, as Churchill said, so it won't matter whether they're good or bad moves.
The only thing that will make a difference will be if and when he goes, along with every last fucking coach and manager, masseuse, hand jobber, enema giver, ballboy, batsman, batman, etc. They all have to go.
You know who we really are lacking? Someone who can do what Don Zimmer did. I'm not sure Saint Joe Torre would have gotten half his wins without his field general, Zim. We need A BASEBALL MAN or, as Duque put it the other day, "some old gasbag."
Until we get someone like that on board, we are just bread crumbs that Boston will coat its pimply ass with.
FIRE LARRY ROTHSCHILD!!!
ReplyDeleteWe now know Gray will go. Lynn will go. All the others should come to spring training because we will need some depth to start the season. What is REALLY needed here is not to dump guys, but to get a pitching coach who can learn them something. They are young and inexperienced, and they need to learn how to pitch as well as how to throw. Rothchild is the culprit here - he must GO!
ReplyDelete