The Zen Puzzle of Brian Cashman

I have never actually had the privilege to travel to the Far East, and I'm afraid that my knowledge of Eastern philosophy is limited to, well, several fortune cookies from the mmid-80s.

Nevertheless, I believe that the great Zen masters would break the conundrum that is Brian Cashman down into four basic elements.   To wit:

1.  Cashman has no ability to identify or develop young baseball talent, or to employ those who do.

You would think this would be the one, indispensable qualification for being a baseball general manager, akin to, say, being able to see to drive a bus, or having two legs to play the role of Tarzan (old Cooke & Moore routine).

But apparently not.

2.  Cashman does not seem able to ever bring his team's vast advantage in money into play effectively.

If, say, Brian Cashman had signed Manny Ramirez as well as Mike Mussina for the 2001 season, the Yankees would probably have won many more pennants and World Series, and the Red Sox certainly would not have won one until at least 2013.

If, say, Brian Cashman had listened to Jason Giambi after signing him before the 2003 season and signed Johnny Damon as well, the Yankees would probably have won many more pennants and World Series, and the Red Sox certainly would not have won one until at least 2013.

If, say, Brian Cashman had signed Carlos Beltran when he was willing to sign with the Yankees at a discount before the 2005 season, the Yankees would probably have won many more pennants and World Series, and the Red Soc certainly would not have won one until at least 2018.

3. Cashman does not seem able to recognize that his team's only true competition in most seasons is the Boston Red Sox.

If, say, Brian Cashman had seen that the Red Sox were searching around desperately for a first baseman-designated hitter before the 2003 season and signed the recently released David Ortiz (as George Steinbrenner reportedly wanted him to) before they could, the Yankees would definitely have won many more pennants and World Series, and the Red Sox certainly would not have won one until at least 2018.

If, say, Brian Cashman had outbid the Red Sox for Yoan Moncada, he would then have been able to flip Moncada for the ace, Chris Sale, and—combined with any one of the previous eventualities above—the Yankees would have continued to win many more pennants and World Series, and the Red Sox would not have won a World Series to this day.

4. Defying the laws of inertia, Brian Cashman will remain the Yankees' general manager into the indefinite future.

If, say, Brian Cashman does remain the Tankees' general manager into the indefinite future, we would all be well-advised to follow the example of the Chongzhen Emperor, Zhou Fujian, the last ruler of the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644), who hanged himself with a yellow, silken sash from the limb of a scholar tree, rather than surrender to the barbarians from the north.

Or, you know, we could maybe spend more time reading, working out, or working on the backyard.