Thursday, December 27, 2018

How to win the 2019 AL East

For me, the most powerful TV moment this Christmas happened on Saturday Night Live, when Miley Cyrus sang the John Lennon carol, "Happy Christmas/War is Over." If you missed it, here it is. The fundamental message: If we truly want something, we have the power to make it happen. 

Clearly, Miley was targeting an "audience of one:" Yankee owner Hal Steinbrenner. 

Her message: Yankee drought is over... if Hal wants it.

Let's imagine for a moment that Food Stamps Hal has one lone objective: To win in 2019. We must halt Boston's march toward a dynasty, and the best way to do that is by winning the AL East. Nothing else matters. We don't worry about money. We don't worry about long-term plans. Dearth is over... if we want it. 

So what do we do? 

1. Sign Manny Machado to play 3B. Give him a huge contact with an "out" clause after, say, three years. He'll sign. He's made it clear: He wants to be a Yankee.

2. Sign Bryce Harper to play LF. Same deal: Massive amount of money with a chance to become a free agent by 2021. Listen: All the Gammonites are saying the same thing: This guy wants to be a Yankee.

3. Sign a stopgap SS until Didi Gregorius returns.

4. Move Miguel Andujar to first base.

5. Trade Sonny Gray, Greg Bird, Luke Voit, Clint Frazier, Tyler Wade and the top prospects in the system - Florial, Loiasiga, Abreu, etc. - for a starting pitcher and a bullpen arm. Fortify the staff at the trade deadline.

Here is the September lineup:

Aaron Hicks CF
Aaron Judge RF
Bryce Harper LF
Manny Machado 3B
Didi Gregorius SS
Giancarlo Stanton DH
Miguel Andujar 1B
Gary Sanchez C
Gleyber Torres 2B

Here is the pitching staff:
Masahiro Tanaka
James Paxton
Luis Severino

J.A. Happ
TBA/ Jordan Montgomery


Here is the bullpen:
Aroldis Chapman
Dellin Betances
TBA
Jonathan Holder
Chad Green


This team wins 115 games. It hits 300 homers. Boston faces the wild card game, and the Yankees have home-field advantage in October. 

We could still lose in the post-season. And we will suffer long-term consequences. Frazier and Bird could become stars. Trading prospects is always touchy. Machado and Harper might leave in three years. But this summer - in 2019 - this is baseball's best team, by a mile. 

And so happy Christmas. And a happy new year. Drought is over... if you want it. Drought is over... now. 

16 comments:

  1. I totally caught a woody reading this. My bat is pulsing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a nice line up. I can fantasize to it next time I get a chance to rub one out in private ...


    FUCKERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Manny for ShortStop - Andujar 3base Lifetime/UntilBenchedByeBoone - Harper play OF/okay - Voit okay 1Base - Catcher okay and Realmundo big okay additional too..
    .
    Sell DiDi - Bench Gardener/Gartner

    ReplyDelete
  4. JUST LOOKING AT HARPER'S NAME IN THE #3 HOLE, AFTER JUDGE, IS MOUTH WATERING.

    ....I ALMOST DIDN'T CARE ABOUT MACHADO'S NAME BEING AFTER HARPER'S.

    I AM ACTUALLY STARTING TO HOPE MANNY TURNS US DOWN SO WE CAN QUICKLY TURN OUR ATTENTION TO BRYCE, AND SEAL THE DEAL WITH HIM.

    REMEMBER, WE HAVE NO LEFTY BATS RIGHT NOW.

    .....AND I DON'T REMEMBER EVER HEARING ABOUT HOW HARPER DIDN'T RUN OUT A GROUND BALL.

    I DO REMEMBER HARPER HURTING HIMSELF RUNNING HARD DOWN THE FIRST BASE LINE, TRIPPING OVER THE BAG.

    WE WANT HUSTLE.

    WE WANT FIRE.

    WE WANT WINNERS.

    NONE OF THIS BLASE SHIT....

    ReplyDelete
  5. So you are basically saying, "Imagine all the people (in the Yankee Front Office) living for today"

    Doug K.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AND if I had four wheels, I'd be a bus.

    Dreaming the dream.

    It is a week for that, I concur.

    ReplyDelete
  7. WHERE'S MY BRYCE AND MY MANNY AND MY CORBIN, YOU REPREHENSIBLE FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!! FUCKERS !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You may say we're dreamers, Doug K., but we're not the only ones.
    Maybe someday Hal will join us, and the Yanks will be No. 1

    Altogether now!

    "So this is Christmas
    And what has Hal done?
    Another Sox year over
    And a new one just begun.
    And so this is Christmas
    I hope Coops had fun.
    With the bad and the awful ones
    The old and the young.

    A very Merry Christmas
    And a happy New Year
    To ICS and to Bird too
    Though I hope you're not here.

    Dearth is over
    If Hal wants it
    Dearth is over
    If Hal wants it..."

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hoss,

    Nice. I suppose there's always the other Lennon/McCartney classic about Sonny Gray.

    Why don't we pitch him on the road?
    Why don't we pitch him on the road?
    Why don't we pitch him on the road?
    Why don't we pitch him on the road?
    No one will be watching him.
    Why don't we pitch him on the road?

    Doug K.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cashman singing in the dead of night.
    Sign a broken wing and make us cry.
    All our lives.
    We were only waiting for this moment to arrive.

    Cashman singing in the dead of night.
    The luxury tax we have survived.
    All our lives.
    Now we are free so we can buy buy buy.


    Cashman lies...
    Cashman lies...
    Into the night of the big black sky.

    ReplyDelete
  11. 13bit,

    Well done!

    Doug K.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You guys are both rocking it!

    How about the Beatles' tribute to CC's 2019 ERA?

    "Number 9
    Number 9
    Number 9..."

    ReplyDelete
  13. Some say the world will end in fire
    Some say in ice.

    To think it might be Cashman's work
    Or hold with this who favor Hal

    From what I've tasted of desire
    I hold with those who favor fire.

    I think I know enough of Aaron
    To say that for destruction ice

    Is also great.
    And would suffice.

    ReplyDelete
  14. HAL DON'T WANNA SPOIL THE PARTY SO HE'LL GO....

    COOP WOULD HATE HIS DISAPPOINTMENT TO SHOW....

    THERE'S NOTHING FOR THEM HERE, SO THEY WILL DISAPPEAR.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Here's one more for no good reason. It's the end of our season (Hey that rhymes!) done to the last part of Rocky Racoon.


    The Story of Our Aaron Boone

    So he left Walker in. Tossing a-way the win.
    Although he knew that AnDUjar was better.
    Said, "I’m playing the match ups tonight”
    The Yankees went down without much of a fight.
    Though Sabermetrics, Sabermetrics, said it would go better.

    And now our Aaron Boone, he fell back in his room
    Only to find Joe G’s Bible.
    Girardi checked out, and he left it no doubt
    To ensure Boonie’s lack of survival.

    D'do d'do d'do do do do
    D'do d'do d'do do do do
    D'do d'do d'do do do d'do d'do d'do d'do
    Do do do do do do

    D'do d'do d'do do do do, come on, Boonie boy
    D'do d'do d'do do do do, come on, Boonie boy
    D'do d'do d'do do do d'do d'do d'do d'do.
    The story of Boonie there (ah).

    Doug K.

    ReplyDelete

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    God bless you
    I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.

    ReplyDelete

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