A fully operational Death Star Christmas: Our annual message of peace and hope, dammit
On this, the holiest of holidays, may all the blessings of hope and love be yours and for your loved ones, and may you live happily in peace, always, with all the joys of the yuletide season, not only today and tomorrow, but throughout the coming year, without regret, and with new understanding that each day is sacred in our hearts, and in our dreams, driven by our own personal sleighs, and lit by the beacons of truth and harmony, plus goodwill, not only to man, but to all creatures, and we don't mean use that word in a negative way, because - hey - it's all about love, as stated above, and the prosperity that we hope shines upon you and your family throughout the coming year, and the year after that, and frankly, forever, even long after you and your family are in their graves, feeding microbial creatures that also are blessed in the holiday spirit, whether they are aware of it or not, because technically, microbes do not believe in anything, which is sad, but still okay, because each one of them is special in the eyes of Christmas, a wondrous holiday that compels us to wish that you never shall suddenly collapse, like a bullpen run by Larry Rothschild, for such is the splendor and pureness of this holiday wish, which I again stress is not a wish, which anyone can make, but a desire, and that it will include not only the entirety of the universe but the tiniest of your atomic composition, which includes the Higgs Boson particle, and that is a lot of empty space, which is also joyous in its own way, although it is hard for us to understand this, not only on
Christmas, but any time, except for the Fourth of July, when we are fired up with the patriotic fervor of true love and glee, so, in conclusion, may everything you've ever wanted to happen happen, and may nothing you never want to ever happen not happen, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, may the Yankees win in 2019 and may God strike me down right now if this message is in any way insincere, and damn, I-
On this, the holiest of holidays, may all the blessings of hope and love be yours and for your loved ones, and may you live happily in peace, always, with all the joys of the yuletide season, not only today and tomorrow, but throughout the coming year, without regret, and with new understanding that each day is sacred in our hearts, and in our dreams, driven by our own personal sleighs, and lit by the beacons of truth and harmony, plus goodwill, not only to man, but to all creatures, and we don't mean use that word in a negative way, because - hey - it's all about love, as stated above, and the prosperity that we hope shines upon you and your family throughout the coming year, and the year after that, and frankly, forever, even long after you and your family are in their graves, feeding microbial creatures that also are blessed in the holiday spirit, whether they are aware of it or not, because technically, microbes do not believe in anything, which is sad, but still okay, because each one of them is special in the eyes of Christmas, a wondrous holiday that compels us to wish that you never shall suddenly collapse, like a bullpen run by Larry Rothschild, for such is the splendor and pureness of this holiday wish, which I again stress is not a wish, which anyone can make, but a desire, and that it will include not only the entirety of the universe but the tiniest of your atomic composition, which includes the Higgs Boson particle, and that is a lot of empty space, which is also joyous in its own way, although it is hard for us to understand this, not only on
Tears and confusion. Bartender, I don’t think I want what he’s having, but I’m curious what it is.
ReplyDeleteMake mine a double.
ReplyDeleteGood will to all.
Fuckers!
And a Merry Christmas to you.š
ReplyDeleteMERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL HERE.
ReplyDeleteRAISE A ROCKS GLASS OF GENTLEMAN JACK....
HERE IS TO PEACE....
....AND IN 2019 SEEING HAL HOIST UP THE WORLD SERIES TROPHY, ALL THE WHILE THINKING
"I TOLD EVERYONE SO...WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND TO WIN IT ALL."
Faulkner would have been proud to have posted this message. Day after day, all year long, el duque, you pump out wonderfully entertaining Yankee observations and columns that have pretty much replaced my lifelong addiction to the NY tabloids' sports pages. Thank you and a double dose of Christmas grog to all!
ReplyDeleteThat goes for me, too, Parson Tom. Utterly hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHere's to our Peerless and Dauntless leaders, El Duque and Alphonso, long may they wave! And to all our wonderful crew!