Dear Mr. Steinbrenner: It's time to make it rain

Dear Hal,

Remember the scene in JAWS where Roy Schieder catches his first glimpse of the great white shark, and starts yelling, "We need a bigger boat! We need a bigger boat!" That's us. That's the Yankees. Last year, we went toe-to-toe with the monster and were devoured. 

We need a bigger boat.

We need the long dormant Yankee God of Unchecked Exorbitance to reawaken, to darken skies across the AL East and spew a molten rain of gold from the wildfires of California to the flooded cities of Florida. We need to make a statement: The Yankees are alive. 

We need to buy Manny Machado, Bryce Harper, Dallas Keuchel and Zach Britton. Make no mistake: We need all four. All. Four. Now.

We do this, we win. Understand? It's that simple. Sign them, we win.

You have the money. Don't you dare poor-mouth us. You can make this happen on a cocktail napkin. You have the money. You have the brand name. You have a team that players want to join in a city where they want to play. Sign them, and you will be guaranteed 300 tabloid back pages next year. Sign them - Machado, Harper, Keuchel and Britton - and you won't be held for ransom at the August 1 trade deadline. Sign them, and instead of desperately draining the farm system in mid-July - once again - you will rebuild the Yankees from the ground up, as you have often claimed is your goal. 

Listen: One or two could be a dud. But all they cost is money. You have the money! What you don't have is a farm system. We cannot trade our way to the 2019 World Series, or to a team of multiple championships. 

Show us that you've simply been playing possum, pretending to stay cheap. Spend the money. You'll recoup everything with higher YES Network ratings. You will own New York. You will dominate the game of baseball. You will make the Yankees once again the team to beat. If you spend the money, you cannot lose. 

Machado. Harper. Keuchel. Britton. 

Spend the money. We need a bigger boat.