THE BRYCE IS RIGHT!
BRYCE IS NICE!
BRYCE IS CHRIST!
We'll likely never know. (By the time Harper comes to the Yankees, around 2025, The Master will probably be retired.) But somewhere out there, in the vast recesses of the cosmos, there exists a Yankiverse where Bezos owns the team, Trump is a car dealer, and Food Stamps Hal is a star on Broadway. At times, through glitches in the Matrix, we catch brief glimpses of this world.
And in that universe, the defending champion Yankees just signed Harper and Manny Machado, causing the lords of the game to bellow about one dynastic team, one certain owner, who is a traitor to his billionaire cheapo aristocracy and is refusing to collude.
In this alt-Yankiverse, nobody is happier than the alt-John Sterling, who is currently testing home run calls. Close your eyes, and you can hear him, yelling through the wormholes.
MANNY IS UNCANNY!
WHO DA MAN? MANNY DA MAN!
QUIEN ES MAS MACHADO!
MACHADO SHOWS BRAVADO!
HARPER NEVER SHARPER!
BRYCE AIN'T LICE!
MANNY KICKS FANNY!
Ah, but in this world, The Master is working on the one home run that DJ LeMahieu will hit this year. And for that one, I got nuthin.'
Isn't Sterling 80 now? How long can he do this? It's a lot of travel for an old guy, and I say that as an old guy who could never handle that much travel.
ReplyDeleteHere you go Duque:
ReplyDelete" Hey you-that's a bomb from LeMahieu!" or " "There it goes, David just hit one like Goliath!"
"LeMahieu follows through!"
ReplyDelete"He hit one into the blue! And out it flew!"
These are good...hopefully John is taking copious notes...
ReplyDeleteLeMahieu can do!!
More likely he comes up with something f'd up in French.
"LeMahieu is no parvenu!"
ReplyDeleteMonsieur LeMahieu, eh la!
ReplyDelete@Der Kaiser...to Yankee fans LeMahieu might well be a parvenu....
ReplyDeleteToo true!
ReplyDeleteHey, you! A bomb from Le Mahieu!
ReplyDeleteGOT A FEELING LEMAHIEU IS GONNA STINK LIKE PEPE LAPUE.
ReplyDeleteBombs away with DJ!
ReplyDeleteDeMahieu--Gesundheit!
ReplyDeleteThe DJ rocks the joint!
ReplyDeleteThe DJ spins one out of the park!
ReplyDeleteAnother smash hit from the DJ!
ReplyDeleteI see DJ and think Jeter!
ReplyDelete
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