Sunday, April 28, 2019

When the starters return, what happens to these lovable lug nuts?

You know how the National Weather Service now names snow storms? We're now experiencing Storm Xyler, with Yvette and Zachary still to come. 

I propose that the Yankees give similar titles to injuries, in this case giving them dog names. Thus, the year's first gonadal tweak - officially to Jacoby Ellsbury, who is always injured - was Accident Abe. Then, Didi Gregorius became Accident Buddy, Luis Severino Accident Chief, and so on. We're already at Accident Max (Clint Frazier) and could reach Zeke by June 1.

But what happens to the victims of Yankee rehabilitation, the no-names who have courageously outplayed their superstar inspirations. 

Yesterday, the Death Star released updates on the infamous injury blizzard, suggesting some returns are imminent.

For example, Ellsbury is expected back any minute now. As I speak, he is streaking across the Nebraska horizon in his rocket-powered wheelchair, en route to San Francisco, where he'll play CF and recite poety this afternoon. What happened? Simple: CBD oil! So let's cross Abby off the injury list, and enshrine him into the Yankee retirement hall of fame.

(Of course, Ellsbury will never play another down in pinstripes. And once again, let's remind ourselves that a bad contract is not the player's fault. The Yankees chose to bestow a seven-year deal unto an injury-plagued career, and Ellsbury simply was smart enough to take it.)

Supposedly, though, some are on the verge:

Giancarlo Stanton, out since game three, might rejoin the team Tuesday in Arizona. There goes Mike Ford, who hit the two-run blast against the Angels.  

Aaron Hicks, out since the opening of spring training, might play fake games this week. He could be back within - hmm? - two weeks? (There goes Clint Frazier, who might otherwise rejoin the team next weekend - except that Frazier was hitting too well to be demoted to Scranton, so it would probably exile Mike Tauchman... unless there is a logjam of Designated Hitters, in which case Tauchman would stay... assuming he can lift his average above .220 and - wow, it gets complicated.) 

Dellin Betances might start throwing this week, which means he's a few weeks away, and whomever he replaces should improve the bullpen, unless Dellin turns out to be the Bad Betances, in which case we will re-enact the plight of Hanging Chad Green, and have to watch him blow sizable leads. And speaking of Bad Chad, is he an injury or just a flop? 

Miguel Andujar might play in fake games this week. He's probably two weeks away. That means so long Gio Urshella, unless DJ LeMahieu's jammed ankle - see yesterday - forces him to miss time.

Greg Bird? Oh, why bother?

Troy Tulowitski? I'm tempted to say the same. Frankly, Gleyber Torres covers more ground and has done a fine job. Moreover, Tyler Wade brings speed to the offense, something the Yankees can use in close games, once we stop playing tomato cans. What does Tulo bring, aside from a bunch of hibernating tweaks, waiting to awaken?

Of course, Luis Severino - the one we needed most - remains down for the months of May and June. When a person goes missing that long, you have to assume that he or she may never be found. 


17 comments:

  1. My guesses:
    Betances will need surgery
    Chad Green will need surgery once he admits he's hurt
    Frazier is out for a month more
    Hicks will be in and out
    Stanton may return but he'll hardly be an improvement over Tauchman

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  2. Tom, I honestly would rather have Ford and Tauchman than Stanton and Hicks. This is going to be heartbreaking, and we'll have to also watch the currently great chemistry turn to the usually flaccid ghost of same.

    This is really gonna hurt. Dammit.

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  3. JM,

    As much as I am enjoying watching this group, and I AM, I can't say that I agree.

    Yes, the chemistry is VASTLY superior but the truth is they've played bad teams. So as presently constructed they are the best bad team in baseball. I'm not complaining. Wins are wins and they are way more fun than the team of, as you so perfectly put it, the team of "flaccid ghosts".

    But... Hicks is a vastly superior ball player to Tauchman in both hitting and fielding. And the closest Ford will ever get to an All Star or an MVP is when he is in the dugout standing next to Stanton.

    I think it goes back to what I mentioned several days ago. It is more fun to watch a guy play better than you think than watch a guy disappoint. But we are supposed to win championships and over time and against good teams, Stanton will help you more. So Tauchman and Ford can go when it's time, and Bye Bye Birdie (and I mean Bye Bye!)

    The only guy (and I'm assuming Frazier stays.) of this current crop of over achievers that I think is worth keeping in Urshala. This guy is a really good third baseman.

    Let AnDUjar take the majority of his ABs at DH for the time being to see if Urshala is for real. If he is get AnDUjar a couple of other gloves. I can't see getting rid of that level of defense.

    As for the rest of them... I'd rather have Judge, Didi, and yes, Stanton for the long haul.

    Doug K.

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  4. In reading this again I didn't mention DJ because he is not one of the new subs that are here because of injury. He's part of the original plan and doing one hell of a job.

    I also didn't mention Tulo because that was a stupid signing to begin with and still is.

    Last thing on Urshala. I forgot what a real 3B looks like. It's like those last few years of Jeter and then you watch a great shortstop get to balls that Jeter wouldn't even try for.

    Doug K.

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  5. I want to make this point. Yes, the Yankees have played bad teams, but they've consistently beaten them. Even on the road. If the Yankees were a bad team, they would have split or worse. Especially on the West Coast trip.

    Which is just their way of declaring themselves slightly above average. Of giving us false hope. All the better to break our cold flinty hearts when the weather turns cold and damp.



    Fuckers. They could have truly improved the team, making the Yankees contenders for years. Instead this: slightly above mediocrity. Fuckers; may they go blind with syphilitic eyes.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Firstly, when Tulo is healthy trade him if he doesn't have a no trade. If he does, release him. Frazier is a lock to stay. Urshela should be the infield bench player and Wade likely as the super-sub.

    Tauchman, Ford, and Maybin will be sent down and should be.

    Bettances is better than Tarpley and Joe Harvey although except for one pounding he has done okay. Those 2 will be exorcised from the MLB roster as well.

    Chad Green has talent and although he has regressed the last 1 1/4 years he can be re-directed on to the right path again but not by the aloof and oblivious Larry Rothschild.

    I've asked this question 20 times: When will the Cessa experiment be over?

    As far as the Yankees competition so far, its just a few weeks from the first string of games against Baltimore and Detroit and KC who are three of the most lycopersicumous of tomato cans in MLB and the varsity averaged about 13-14 strikeouts per game and lost most of those contests. So there is that.

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  8. Win...

    Syphilitic eyes? I hear you can only get that from a certain Japanese sexual fetish.

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  9. Doug, I do not disagree with you, really. I just have no use for Stanton, and still think it was a bad idea to take him. It's not just the Ks, which are terrible, it's something intangible.

    I've never understood Cashman's allegiance to Hicks. Good defense, fine arm, but injury prone and I think last year was his career year, never to be equaled or exceeded. Tauchman has never been given a full shot at the big leagues, so I don't know. I've come to think he has real potential, but I doubt we'll ever really know.

    I'm a fan of Judge, and Didi, and Miggy, and Frazier,a DJ. So I know a lot of these kids are going away. But this has been so much fun, regardless of who the opponents have been. So, yeah, it'll be tough for me to see these guys go. And I wonder if the infusion of regular roster players is going to come anywhere near the chemistry or entertainment value.

    The bullpen, however, really sucks. All help gladly accepted there.

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  10. Oy--what a mashup of incompetent "analysis." The best all-around player among the Yankee super-subs is clearly Tyler Wade, with his blend of superior speed and defense and above-average on-base ability. Urshela is a nice fairy tale, but in the huge sample of his long minor league career, he has never shown any sign of being anything other than a major deficit offensively.

    It seems like nobody on this blog studies large samples where available. Bunch of ignorant blowhards.

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  11. Why are we not hearing any bleats from the small-sample crowd about the Yankees' failure to acquire Machado and Harper now that they are regressing to the norm? Bunch of front-running, small-sample--and probably small-penis--yahoos, yapping for spending a quarter billion dollars on a guy with a .730 OPS and who has been a CAREER-AVERAGE-HITTING third baseman away from Camden Yards. Anyone care to admit you were WRONG, yelping dogs?

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  12. I'm sorry; did someone say something?

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  13. Shut up, you twisted fag.

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