Corner of Heart Attack and Vine: The vaunted Yankee bullpen terrifies us, not opponents

Last night, ahead by five in the eighth, with the venerable Zach "Zack" Britton plying his trade, from his gurney in the Yankee-Sloan Kettering Cancer Center Broadcast Booth, John Sterling waxed amazement over the Olympian majesty of the Death Star's bullpen. 

Since the fourth, Boonie's conga line of Rolaids Relievers had not allowed a hit. Not one! Now, with Twins SS Jorge Polanco facing a 3-2 count, Britton looked as firmly in command as Taylor Swift on a red carpet. "This is as close to a base-runner as the Yankee bullpen has allowed," The Master sounded. 

Next pitch: Low. Polanco walked. Then the next batter, Nelson Cruz, hit one to Jersey City.

Okay. No problem. Three run lead, right? So in the ninth, rather than send out an inning-eater, the Yankees brought in Aroldis Chapman, their overpowering monster closer. Game over. Right? When El Chapo gave up a lead-off single, who cared? The next batter grounded out. One down. When Chapman reached a full count on Jonathan Schoop, a Yankee killer over the years, The Master gulped. He was within a pitch of bringing the tying run to the plate. Schoop belted a line drive into center, heroically ice cream-cone snared by Gleyber Torres. Two down. That brought up somebody named Ehire Adrianza. Again, El Chapo went to a 3-2 count. Adrianza fanned, swinging at a pitch off the plate. If he closed his eyes and took the  pitch, it would have probably been ball four.

Okay... no harm, no foul. Game over, the Yanks slapped gloves, Chapman's ERA dropped a smidgen - to 2.19 - and the fans went home drunk and happy.

But with a 6-1 lead, it sure would have been a psychological boost to not need El Chapo, and then - when he did come in, it sure would have been nice to see him dominate. Anybody who watched or listened knows one excruciating insecurity: No Yankee lead is safe, and our so-called "closers" remain a house of cards, always ready to implode. 

Last year, Boston watched stopper Craig Kimbrel evolve from a lights-out leviathan into a Keebler elf. In the final Yankee playoff, with Kimbrel nursing a three-run lead, Gary Sanchez's fly ball died 10 feet from the stands. With a bit more oomph, that's a game-tying, Bosox-breaking, historically significant three-run shot. From there...?

Over the winter, Boston cut bait on Kimbrel. They decided to forego the role of closer, a risky proposition - while the Yankees spent to build a lock-box, a so-called bullpen for the ages.  

Today, our bullpen ranks 16th overall in MLB with a horrifying 4.25 ERA. Boston sits just two notches behind, an ERA of 4.39. I'd hate to do a cost-analysis of how much the Yankees pay per bullpen out. (By the way, the top five bullpens: Houston, San Francisco, Toronto, Cleveland and Tampa Bay.)

Of course, we are waiting for Dellin Betances. Within injury updates, Betances seems a phantom. His shoulder "impingement" remains a mystery to the cosmos. Who knows...?

Now our new "ace," James Paxton, will have an MRI on his knee. I cannot imagine a worse injury for the Yankees. (Note: Paxton's injury history was no secret; that's why Seattle traded him.) In case you're wondering how the Scranton rotation looks for the "Next Man Up!" publicity campaign, here are some sobering numbers from the mud-mines of Moosic.

Ouch. (Note: Gio Gonzalez - whose slightly obscured ERA here is 6.00 - is now gone.) 

An injury to Paxton means more pressure on the swing-men. That tightens the screws on the closers. That means... it's going to be a long year, and I shudder to think of the season coming down to a one-run lead in the eighth or ninth. House of cards. Flip a coin. Iceberg, dead ahead.