What goes around... the Mets are making excuses for Joggy Cano, and the Yankees for Aaron Hicks

Somewhere, in a Yankiverse far, far away... 

... there exists a parallel earth where Mike Pence is a porn star, Jon Snow is king, and Robby Cano settled for 10 years in the Bronx, rather than squeezing out one more season of dimes and running off to the city of Boeing (the real Death Star, by the way.) In that world, he remains a beloved lifelong Yankee, and he might even possess a ring. If only we could set the Wayback Machine to the winter of 2015 and stop that terrible moment, when Cano - brainwashed by Jay-Z and Beyonce - chased money over psyche and signed with Seattle, we might have saved him from his current fate as a dumpy, soul-less, flogging, jogging mercenary, and saved ourselves from seven years of Jacoby Ellsbury.

Yep, it was Ellsbury who the Yankees signed to blunt the taser welt of Cano's run for the gold. (I recognize that many of you, rightfully, say we cannot judge a player for feeding his family. I agree. But in the case of Cano, I would argue that a) he's too rich to ever worry about stock options, and b) he actually made a stupid business decision; he'd have banked more dimes as a lifetime Yankee.) 

But today, let's forget the moohlah and discuss a legacy that will shadow Cano's career like outfield warning tracks once did Bobby "the Wallflower" Abreu. Of course, I'm referring to Joggy's penchant for jogging out grounders. Yesterday, he sashayed out a rally-killing double-play in the ninth inning, no less, crushing the Mets. Worse, he later blamed it on the CF scoreboard, which mistakenly listed two outs in the inning. WTF? He couldn't keep track? Wow. In all these years of excuse-making, this beats "bone spurs" and "I didn't inhale." 

The Mets say they won't discipline Joggy. They want to be sensitive and understanding. Punishing a "team leader" would do no good. And they're probably right: Joggy won't change. Why should he? The Mets are shackled to him for four more years, at $24 million per. He can Uber to first base, for all that matters. He is, after all, Jogginson Cano.

Which brings me to Part II, Mr. Aaron Hicks - he of the five-game spring training, who is currently rehabbing with... um... the Yankees. 

Late yesterday, with the Yankees down by one and a full-count on Hicks, John Sterling could hardly contain himself. The next pitch would mean everything. Ball four, and the Yankees would have runners on first and second with nobody out. And Hicks, The Master noted, is a whiz at drawing walks. Anticipation was incredible. You could feel Sterling's rising emotions.

Then Hicks struck out. (As he did earlier in the game, with the bases loaded.) 

Listen: I'm not hanging the loss on Hicks. (For all the Yankees' wishful thinking about Gary Sanchez, he has a long way to go before winning MLB comeback honors.) Overall, Hicks went 2-for-5, his first hits of 2019. The Yankees desperately need him in CF, and at this point, he needs to play.

But I believe two points must be made about our looming red carpet bonanza of returning celebrities:

a) They need more rehab time in the minors. Five games is ridiculous, especially when someone has missed nearly two months. We should not have to watch so called "stars" play themselves back into shape. We've seen hustling no-names carry this team for six weeks, and they deserve better than to be gonged back to Scranton, while the veteran slowly regains his swing.

b) Until they start hitting, these returning players should bat lower in in the lineup - certainly not second or third. If that ruffles their feathers, so be it. If Hicks bats seventh or eighth - or even ninth - he wouldn't have been undressed in so many critical situations, and The Master would be much happier. 

I get it that the Mets and Yankees must coddle their divas. But both teams are still in pennant races, and they should act that way.

One final squawk: A day after he homered, Kendrys Morales sits 11 innings on the bench, never even gets a shot? Way to go with the hot hand, Boonie!