Meanwhile, the Orioles lost their 8th game in the last 10 to maintain MLB's second worst record, a-half game ahead of the misery Marlins.
Dear God, look at the lineups...
Our catcher, Gary Sanchez, projects a 30-HR comeback season. Theirs - Pedro "The Wrong Sevy" Severino - haplessly watched a routine pop foul drop 10 feet behind him. In the future, he should keep his mask on.
Our firstbaseman, Luke Voit, has successfully buried the first slump of his MLB career, (along with Greg Bird) and could lay claim to the position for years. Their regular 1B, the ghost of Chris Davis, is hitting .178 - eleven points higher than he hit last season in 470 at bats.
Our secondbaseman... oh, why bother? This is Comparison Porn. I feel dirty. It's excessive, it's hurtful, and I'll only piss off the juju gods by smart-mouthing further. But "Tomato Can" doesn't cut it. Baltimore has become baseball's version of the Knicks, and I cannot think of a worse thing to call a sports franchise, or for that matter, anything. (Example: "Donatella Versace is the Knicks of face-lifts"... "Broccoli is the Knicks of vegetables.")
Last night, as Baltimore's naked haplessness unveiled itself on my innocent TV, I wondered who on the O's might help the Yankees in August, if - say - we flipped them a Chance or a McBroom? The answer: Nada, nobody, nope.
Their best hitter, Trey Mancini, couldn't break the current Yankee outfield, much less the one with Aaron Judge in right. Frankly, I'd prefer Hammerin' Cameron Maybin, whose single and mad dash to second last night on a pathetic throw set-up the comeback. "Maybe" might be a bit plate-challenged, but the things he does well - running, fielding, not lunging after bad pitches - sure come in handy. He fits.
Their best pitcher? Ha. The have none, their staff merely an assortment of hard throwers who, if traded our way, would grow old on the I-80 shuttle to Scranton. Their best pitcher is whomever happens to be throwing well tonight, and we don't need that Ebola-like contagion festering on our roster.
If we don't take three out of four in Baltimore, the juju gods will have intervened. But how did such a once-mighty franchise fall so far? In the last 11 seasons, they have finished fifth in the AL East six times. Between 2008-11, they completed a full-scale "tank," with nothing to show for it. In some alternative universe, they selected Derek Jeter fourth in the 1992 draft, rather than Jeffrey Hammonds, racking up pennants and creating a great Ripken-Jeter tradition at SS, and there, nobody has ever heard the name "Jeffrey Maiers." Ah, but that world is far, far away - as distant as the O's are from the Yankees right now.
Tonight, we send out our "ace," Domingo German. The crowd is practically a home game. The saying goes, "Make hay when the sun shines." Forget that line about three out of four. This needs to be a sweep. Calling Mr. McBroom...
"we flipped them a Chance or a McBroom?" I rather flip them a Bird...Okay, that was too easy.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind if they traded us John Means. But he's still a rookie pitcher with tons of upside and it will never happen. He'd better than Happ that's for sure.
Off topic but there is a great article in the WSJ this morning about Cody Bellinger, currently tearing up the NL for the LAD. He might hit .400 while still batting like crazy as judged by any statistic you choose to employ. Remember, this guy used to hit only home runs. Now he is a fucking beast.
ReplyDeleteHow did he do it? Take a guess.
that leftfielder, Dennis Smith Jr., who seems to be moonlighting from his job as point guard for the Knicks, deserves special recognition this morning. he, with a huge assist from the catcher, contributed to six Yankee runs last night: two bad-throw sac flies, one inept attempt at a nice catch on the Gleyber HR and Sanchez's HR, which never would have happened if the wrong Sevy could catch a pop fly that went straight up. Bad team. Really bad team.
ReplyDeleteBaltimore was a feared team when I was a kid. Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, Boog Powell, McNally, Palmer...they had a hell of a team. This is just sad. And the sudden and horrible collapse of Davis is tragic and inexplicable. Sure, we have to beat them four straight, but I have to feel sorry for these guys. Unless Happ is pitching, then fuck 'em. That more than evens the playing field.
ReplyDeleteThank the Almighty Lord we signed Happ! Whatever would we do without his steadying veteran leadership?
ReplyDeleteWell no one wants to guess so I’ll tell you. Cody stopped trying to hit a home run in every at bat. Now he is a complete ball player and a monster.
ReplyDeleteLet’s hope this becomes a trend.
I thought you were going to say steroids.
ReplyDeleteHubris alert!!
ReplyDeleteJuju gods will punish us for dissing the O's. Might lose the next three. The Gleber might have a season-ending injury. Then on to KC and a series loss.
Don't even talk that way, cabish! Don't give them ideas!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that Smith thing was WEIRD. It was like he didn't even know how to throw.
Of course, a somewhat ragged game by us in the field, too. Sanchez seemed unable to hold onto the ball (what's new?). Awful play by Gardner, who really seems done, in left field.
ReplyDeleteBad play by Voit, too. And what IS it with us NEVER getting a call now??
Sure, Voit should've nabbed that pop foul. But somehow, Mancini is allowed to run five feet out of the baseline and go right by him when he's trying to catch a ball? Since when?
You KNOW if it were a Yankee who did that it would've been called interference, and the batter called out. Instead, it cost us a run (and nice protest on that, Ma.). I know they hate us, but this is ridiculous.
Also, Yankees fans have GOT to stop battling outfielders for Yankee home runs. Especially if they are going to come to away games dressed in big pinstriped shirts. That fool last night almost cost Gleyber again. Sit the fuck down in your seat, Bartman, Jr., and enjoy the game. You're not seven years old anymore.
ReplyDelete
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