"Damn Yankees" in reverse: Can anybody solve the mystery of Mike Tauchman?

Of all the nobodies - the career minor-leaguers, the Triple A leftovers, the non-Stallone expendables - who somehow walked in off the streets to save the Yankees this summer, Mike Tauchman still baffles me. 

I mean, there'd been signs that Gio Urshela - a few years back, a top prospect - had something to offer. Luke Voit had arrived last September, and Cameron Maybin has been around for 12 years. Each faced his last shot at The Show, and we shouldn't have been shocked by their success. (In fact, hardcore fans who follow the Yankee farms over this lost decade have regularly ripped out their hair over the franchise's refusal to promote from within, and its swinish preference for aging vets on the way down. Anyone who watched Mike Ford bash International League pitchers all summer was not surprised by his key HR last night. To them, what's surprising is that Ford got a chance.) 

But with Tauchman, well, I throw up my trembling hands. I hereby ask the assembled juju gods of Gomorrah and the Gammonites of Gotham: How did they find this guy? Seriously, how did he get here?

How did Colorado not see him? Who on Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman's staff - some beery old scout with a clipboard? or some nerdy vegan with an algorithm? - latched onto this 28-year-old nobody who was hitting .274 at Triple A, and said, "That's the one!" Who is responsible for obtaining the best current OF on the first place Yankees?

Yeah, you read that right: Because that's what Tauchman has been. When he comes to bat, I raise the volume on The Master or scramble in from the kitchen to face the TV. Over the last 30 days, Tauchman is hitting .429 with 5 HRs and 17 RBIs. (Only Encarnacion and Didi have more RBIs, and each played in several more games.) On the season, he's hitting .294 with 9 HRs. 

The guy hits lefties (.418); he hits righties (8 HR); he plays solid defense in all three outfield slots; he runs (3 SB.) Fans love to ponder the Death Star lineup with a fully healed Giancarlo, but let's get real: At his best, Stanton will be hard-pressed to deliver the numbers Tauchman has compiled. And when Aaron Hicks returns from his latest tweak, forgetaboutit. He'll bring the usual 0-for 20, as he rehabs himself back to normalcy - which falls somewhere around .240. 

So... I ask you... How did the Yankees find this guy? Who picked him out of the police lineup? Who decided he was worth a 24-year-old relief pitcher, Philip Diehl, whose ERA in Triple A is near 6.00, and who was clobbered in two MLB games with the Rockies? Was it Cashman himself? Was it instinct or number-crunching? Did somebody make a deal with the devil - a Damn Yankees in reverse - and are we looking at a Shoeless Joe from Hannibal Mo? 

Of course, another question looms: How long will it last? Tauchman won't hit .400 the rest of the season. One of these days, a pitcher will find a sore tooth, and from then on, the dentists will pick and probe it whenever he steps to the plate. 

Until then, let's enjoy the mystery. In fact, if there's another Tauchman out there, I'm all for keeping secrets. And if the Evil Empire is now the Retrieval Empire, I'm good with that. Mike Fucking Tauchman!