No, I don't mean me, despite what the wife says.
I mean the way that major-league umpires—fully backed by "MLB"—have now taken to making stuff up in order to rip off your New York Yankees.
Refusing to recognize Aaron Judge's strike zone is bad enough. But yesterday's 9th-inning shenanigans were a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of two travesties of a sham, as Woody Allen once said.
This is my 54th season of watching major-league baseball. In all that time, I have never seen a live play stopped dead by an umpire—especially an umpire who was not at the scene of the play. Especially when a player is in the midst of scoring the game-tying run in the 9th inning.
I have never heard of such a call in the past. Anywhere, anytime.
This is juvenile. What's next?
"I"m sorry, Mr. Boone, but I distinctly heard Cody Bellinger shout 'Do-over!' before the ball was struck."
If this had happened in reverse, with the Dodgers the victims, MLB would've ordered the run scored and an immediate replay from that point on, a la the notorious "Pine Tar Game" in 1983.
If this had happened to your Boston Red Sox in Fenway Pahk, the Fenway Faithful and attendant hangers-on would've been allowed to descend from the stands and physically attack Yankee players—as they've been allowed to do in the past when frustrated.
And THEN the call would've been reversed.
Also, the umpires, Aaron Boone, Brett Gardner, and Gleyber Torres would've been hauled over to The Hague for an international war crimes trial (which would at least have given us the chance to meet Urban Farmer).
Look, it doesn't much matter. Even if this Yankees team does make the postseason—by no means a done deal—it's going out in the first round with a maximum of one win, guaranteed.
But it does say a lot about how useless our front office is.
Right now, Mad George would've been spread-eagled over the pitcher's mound at Dodger Stadium, refusing to let another game go on before justice was done.
For HAL, it's another day, another dollar. Win, lose—that's all fan stuff.
Me? If there aren't going to be rules, we might as well be playing "New Games." Or just drinking.
"This is my 54th season of watching major-league baseball. In all that time, I have never seen a live play stopped dead by an umpire—especially an umpire who was not at the scene of the play. Especially when a player is in the midst of scoring the game-tying run in the 9th inning."
ReplyDeleteFurther proof (as if it's needed) mlb wants the Yankees to lose.
I think their umpiring consultants are the 1972 Olympic basketball judges.
Indeed, Rufus. I'm not even saying it's anything conscious. But you will never see a call like that go against any other team.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if, with all the increased, online sports betting, we will see more weird umpiring calls. That may be the best argument for keeping in video replay.
Overheard on the Mets broadcast today: "Keuchel is the closest thing to a left-handed Greg Maddux there is in the majors today."
ReplyDeleteMake it stop! Make it stop!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJust been watching that Keuchel @ Mets game.
ReplyDeleteDon't think he would have been right for us.
Good call Hal and Coops.
I mean, he did not even return for the eighth inning. No length.
Lol, I agree
DeleteI know, U.F. A measly 7, shutout innings.
ReplyDeleteExciting 9th inning—and boy, that Josh Donaldson has still got it.
Also, Baltimore did us a solid and knocked off the Tampa Bay Scallops, so we won't lose any of the lead when we lose tonight.
Hoss, I was listening to the game via The Master but I didn't pick up on any of this ( or I was too drunk to remember), can you fill me in?
ReplyDeleteLet's hope the bed does not get crapped tonight. Not mentioning names, but we have no war horses left. With the lead we (currently) have, Boone should be resting people instead of driving them into the ground. He has NO common sense.
ReplyDeleteKOB, I only saw it on the replay myself, but what happened was this: two on, one out, top of the ninth.
ReplyDeleteGio hits a groundball—a potential, game-ending DP ball, to Justin Turner at third. But it's a slow grounder and by the time Turner throws to second, Brett Gardner is barreling in on the second baseman, Max Muncy.
Gardner takes him out with a completely legitimate slide, and Muncy falls over and drops the ball. Meanwhile, Torres, the runner leaving from second, has touched third and is alertly streaking for home. There's no way short of a sniper's bullet that he doesn't score and tie the game.
When...Gabriel Morales, THE HOME PLATE UMP, calls time.
It was insane. The play was still in motion.
If Morales was concerned that Muncy was hurt, that's very nice but it can wait until the end of the play.
If it were something that required immediate attention—and I can't imagine what that would be, something so medically dire that the literal 2-3 seconds it would take Torres to score would be critical—then that's really the call of second base ump (and acclaimed Italian film director), Jansen Visconti, who was right there. NOT Morales.
In the end, they reviewed it all and the ruling was that Gardner was safe, having beaten the throw in the first place. The bases were loaded with one out...and the next two Yankees, Tauchman and Sanchez both fanned. Game over.
The run, of course, should have been allowed to score, and time should not have been called until someone had the ball and the runners had obviously stopped trying to advance.
It was complete robbery—and if it were any other team but your New York Yankees, I'm sure the game would be resumed from where it should have been, tied 2-2, with men on first and second and one out in the ninth.
Of course, it can't be known if the Yanks would win that. But having got past the Dodgers' best relievers—and with a couple of the Yanks' own best relievers still in the pen—their chances would have been excellent.
Instead, we got screwed.
Reader's Digest version: We wuz robbed.
ReplyDeleteOne pitch, tie game.
ReplyDeleteHoss,
ReplyDeleteJust to make your blood boil more, remember Godzilla breaking his wrist? I remember the umps immediately called time. Wait, they didn't!
Time is called when the action has stopped. Even the actors that call themselves futbol players don't get time called when they pretend to lose a limb from an aggressive tackle.
The umps hate the Yankees.
And the Yankees WOULD have won.
And Jessica Mendoza makes JLo's boyfriend seem erudite.
I put the radio on and the TV audio off. So much better.
ReplyDeleteJudge!!!
ReplyDeleteDidi hurt.
ReplyDeleteSore shoulder from being plunked.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Matt Vasgersian sucks also.
ReplyDelete"We'll have to wait and see how the substitutions work out with Voit pinch hitting."
Matt, YOU will. To everyone else, it was obvious.
JM,
ReplyDeleteI was too lazy to do that. Thanks for the motivation.
Now I can listen to ads for Riverdale. It's like a college campus, you know.
No chemo, though.
ReplyDeleteGary's back to being scary. To Yankee fans, that is.
ReplyDeleteI'll pass on the chemo until I need it. I hear it's a great weight loss technique, but a little too radical for my fat ass.
ReplyDeleteHe'll always be Ice Cream Sandwich to me.
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to batters "protecting the plate"?
ReplyDeleteLost art.
ReplyDeleteGood for Ford.
ReplyDeleteBad for Torres and Ice Cream.
The Master to start the game:
ReplyDelete"Why am I babbling? I do babble. It's what I do."
I was brought to tears of joy by that.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck you Hal, oh fuck you Hal!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck yooouuuuuu!!!!
Sing along Friends!
ReplyDeleteFuck you HAL.
ReplyDeleteFuck you JLo's boyfriend
Fuck you Jessica Mundane
Fuck you Vasgergian or whatever the fuck your name is.
Fuck you Manboobs
Boone and Larry Rothschild really have some thinking to do, apparently.
ReplyDeleteI'm confident they'll make the wrong decision.
Fuck you comcast for losing the mlb radio feed and making me listen to ESPN boobs.
ReplyDeleteESPN should bring back Joe Morgan. Compared to this bunch, he's Red Barber.
ReplyDeleteI still remember firejoemorgan.com
ReplyDeleteWinnie, is this like sing along with Mitch?
Fuck you umpiring assholes.
JM,
ReplyDeleteRed Barber was better than Keith Jackson even.
ESPN announcers are like listening to a Jr. High "I wanna be an announcer for a day" tryouts.
I have five Mitch Miller LPs from my dad's record collection. Truly awful.
ReplyDeleteMy parent's Mitch Miller records went into a 30 yard roll-off.
ReplyDeleteMy asshole sister took the 78's (including the first million seller ever -- I Paliacci by Caruso, and Yes, We Have No Bananas), and the hand crank Victrola. I wouldn't have kept them anyway, but she's still an asshole.
“You could knit a sweater between pitches”
ReplyDeleteJohn: "You could knit a sweater in between Baez's pitches"
ReplyDeletePure Sterling gold.
Pop quiz: Where can one throw stats?
ReplyDeleteSorry, Beau. Didn't mean to step on that. Great minds think alike. And ours do also.
ReplyDeleteRufus... we’re of like minds. Got your feed back it seems!
ReplyDeleteHello, ball. Much chuckling.
ReplyDelete... hello ball...
ReplyDeleteThese two are just giddy.
Now they're quoting Ed Norton: "Hellooooooooooooo, ball"
ReplyDeleteMa and Pa Yankee are the best.
Ok obviously everyone is listening and you do not need my play by play of the play by play. But let’s just say Johns ready for the post season.
ReplyDeleteOK, now I'm getting a little spooked.
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/Fs8aRZntp6c
ReplyDeleteSave y’all some googling. And remember this is ALL IN HIS HEAD. This man John does not use the internet.
Britton got a call on a bad pitch being a strike.
ReplyDeleteUmpires still suck.
They really went all out on those sets for the Honeymooners. Much have cost at least $100. The icebox was a nice touch. Outdated even for the 50's.
ReplyDeleteBeau, no Google needed. That's a classic Honeymooners bit. Right up there with Norton teaching Ralph how to do the hucklebuck.
ReplyDeleteOne advantage of being old is getting every Sterling reference.
ReplyDeletePIX had Honeymooners on during rainouts in the 70s. Also late at night almost every night. Amazing there are so few actual episodes still available to view.
ReplyDeleteCaptcha is blocking my posts.
ReplyDeleteAnnoying like mlb.com
Rufus, those are all the Mooners there are. Only on one year.
ReplyDeleteI missed it. What was Manboob's nickname? "Sweatshirt"?
ReplyDeleteThe color, later ones ran on The Jackie Gleason Show. They basically suck.
ReplyDelete"Pole Dancer"
ReplyDeleteA-Rod is the biggest suck-ass in the history of baseball on television. Every week he waxes idiotic about how the current setting is the best place for baseball. And he loves to listen to himself spouting cliches, I guess, because he never fucking stops.
ReplyDeleteThat was a classic warble.
ReplyDeleteAnd Tom is right.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how you slice it, impressive win. And we're a tough bunch to impress...
ReplyDeleteWHoooOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat was lovely all around!
Absolutely Ranger, needed that win after the stench of Oakland!
ReplyDeleteA big Yankees win.
ReplyDeleteA glittering 17 and 3 record.
ReplyDeleteJM,
ReplyDeleteHere a piece of little known (OK, completely unknown and for good reason) Hollywood Trivia. I was the person who told Art Carney (and for that matter Ray Walston, who was sitting next to him) that John Belushi died.
Art noticed that people on the set of a show they were guest appearing on were in shock and he asked me what was up.
So I told him that Belushi died.
He looked at me, nodded and then and conveyed in pantomime one of the greatest drug abuse stories I had ever seen. It took less than 15 seconds and I totally got it.
Doug K.
What did Ray Walston do?
ReplyDeleteSeriously!
Biggest win of the season. Not that it means anything!
ReplyDeleteJudge on a tear. Domingo comes up big. AND FORD! All Scotland is celebrating tonight.
Glad Sir Didi is all right. And fuck that fucker Kershaw.
Broadway, TV, movies...
ReplyDeleteAlso, the Red Sox lost. Heh.
ReplyDeleteJM,
ReplyDeleteYou know it's really funny. I can not begin to tell you how many times you write what is a very close approximation to what I was just about to.
I was going to be a little more specific what with My Favorite Martian and Damn Yankees but... good enough.
As it turns out, a lot of times your opinions or observations cover what I was going to write next. (And I mean that with respect. After all, who doesn't like their own stuff.)
Hoss,
He just sat there on his janitorial bucket. Art was clearly top dog. They were playing janitors who used to be a vaudeville team. It was for an episode of Fame. "A Couple of Swills". I was a PA/gopher type person at the time and, truth be told not a good one.
Doug K.
I just looked at the script, "A Couple of Swells". "A Couple of Swills is what you call a Freudian Finger Slip.
ReplyDeleteDoug K.
Gotta love youtube.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAZ-5RyNN7s
Doug K.
WHAT A BIG WIN THIS WAS TONIGHT, WHOA....
ReplyDeleteWE SWATTED DOWN THE KINGS OF THE N.L. ON THEIR HOME TURF.
IT'S A GREAT CONFIDENCE BOOSTER GOING FORWARD.
PROBLEM IS, WHAT I KEEP SAYING, THE REAL TEAMS ARE THE ONES WE HAVE TO BEAT IN THE A.L...
THEY ARE A DIFFERENT ANIMAL.
NICE JOB BY DOMINGO.
WE NEED HOME FIELD.
What a great experience, Doug K.! And what great careers.
ReplyDeleteI still tune in (boy, dating myself with THAT phrase!) "Big Bang Theories" that have Bob Newhart on. That incredible timing is still there, after what, 60 years on television?
We have seen the days.
Anon, that's uncanny. And I bet you're not even from Schenectady. Yet we share the same odd pattern of brainwaves.
ReplyDeleteBob Newhart's telephone conversations, his original schtick, were brilliant. His television shows were hilarious. Thanks for the stroll down comedy memory lane.
ReplyDeleteI loved Ray Walston in South Pacific, but couldn't help but stare at the lovely Princess Mitzi Gaynor's ... enchanting smile.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteBob Newhart is amazing! I still have all his albums.
Interestingly enough, I was talking about him with my Mom yesterday. She thinks that James Paxton looks like Bob Newhart around the eyes.
I don't really see it. Granted they both have deadpan eyes, but Paxton looks lost and sad as opposed to evidencing an underlying intelligence that manifests as funny.
Plus I just can't imagine Paxton hanging out with Don Rickles. Oh wait, now I can, "Nice tattoo, I'll get a spigot and we can have pancakes."
Re: Schenectady
Not only am I not from there but I had to cut and paste to make sure I spelled it right.
Doug K.
Your Mom is right, Doug K!
ReplyDelete"Yeah, you went a whole five innings out there. You sure you're okay? You need to lie down, rest a little? Maybe an IV? Tell me, how do you tell when it's an off-day, you hockey puck!"
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