From our own JM
Here comes our buddy Lance Lynn
Remember when we took him in?
To save our rotation
And catch Red Socks Nation...
His season belonged in the bin
Now he's an ace with the Rangers
A symbol of all of the dangers
Of letting Cash loose
To get pitching, by Zeus...
His choices can hardly get stranger
ReplyDeleteWith the Yankees, all Lances will stink.
Til they leave, their careers on the brink.
But I am Pollyanna...
Let’s get some bananas
Then Cashman can trade for Lance Link.
Doug K.
ReplyDeleteLance Lynn to the Rangers did go.
Where again he recalled how to throw.
As a Yank, a disgrace
But now he’s an ace
Thank God Rothschild never “taught” Mo.
Doug K.
Last one...
ReplyDeleteLike Lance Lynn, our old pal Sonny Grey,
has returned to his old resume’.
The spin rate on his cutter?
Or not listening to udder?
He’s good now, is all I will say.
Doug K.
They're once was a Hal with deep pockets
ReplyDeleteCould by all the arms who throw rockets
But instead of Verlanders
He buys salamanders
Then Larr' yanks their arms from their sockets
Dammit! "There"
DeleteI am speechless.
ReplyDeleteWell done and welcome Platoni!
ReplyDeleteDuque, how is that even possible?
Fuuuccckkkk yoouuuuu Haaaaaallll !!!!!
There once was a GM named Cashman
ReplyDeleteWhose sometimes behaved like a rash man
He failed to sign pitchers
So Hal could grow richer
And, now the rotation is hash, man.
Nice job David and Platoni.
ReplyDeleteAs I like to say, (Bennett) Cerf's up!
Doug K.
This shit is great!!! Lolololol!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is high...time we all hark and herald
ReplyDeleteThe man with the chest double-barreled
His life's work is like song;
If you must croon along,
Sing "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"
PS This is the best website on the planet. Thank all of you for existing and sharing.
ReplyDeleteWe might think of his bosses as mice
ReplyDeleteBut Old Lar' isn't here 'cause he's nice:
He won all the committee
When, asked, "How 'bout Venditte?"
He said, "Sure; I can fuck him up twice."
Doug K post #2.... FTW.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are killin' it. And Mike? I think I did a "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald' bit back in 2017, when the Red Sox went down.
ReplyDeleteMike,
ReplyDelete"He won all the committee
When, asked, "How 'bout Venditte?"
He said, "Sure; I can fuck him up twice."
Audible laugh!
Doug K.
Hey Hoss! It's entirely possible I read that post a couple years ago and the Lightfoot song reference stuck in my head. I hereby cede all performance and publishing rights; I'm not sure what mechanical rights are, nor whether my previous cede covers them. I'm not even sure "cede" is a word right now. But it feels right, and besides we don't need a Ray Parker Jr./Huey Lewis and The News scene. :D
ReplyDeleteDoug K.: Happy you laughed, man. I laughed, too, at everything on here and at the JM post that led to it.
There once was a pitcher named Lance Lynn
ReplyDeleteWho to your pants he put ants in.
His lack of talent was saddening
And his failures were more and more maddening
Until you felt like Charlie Manson.
When Lance Lynn is alone on his stretcher
ReplyDeleteJust a long-gone insistent kvetcher
When informed he has mumps
He will blame all the umps
But the culprit was really his catcher.
Lance Lynn was once Cooperstown’s pick
ReplyDeleteTo give our rotation a kick
But his numbers went down
And he said with a frown
“Goddammit, I blame Mooby Dick!”
Out there beside Ruth's earthly heaven
ReplyDeleteThey shout "HERE HE WOULD JUST HAVE ELEVEN!"
Moobs, knowing Lance Lynn
And aware they meant wins
Murmured back "wrong; he'd only have seven."
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