Friday, September 13, 2019

Mr. Glass Half-Full

All right, I hate to be the optimist here.  It's not something I'm really used to.  And, hey, even my idea of optimism is heavily tinged with, well, pessimism.

First off:  don't worry too much about this year's playoffs.

If we have to lose key guys for October...this is the year to do it.  Nobody is going to beat Houston.

I imagine that Astros fans just now must feel the way I did watching Game 5 of the 2000 World Series: Yeah, boy, I really hope we win this one.  But if we don't...no way that the Mets are beating Pettitte, and then El Duque (the original) and Clemens back in the Stadium.

Verlander, Cole, Greinke, and Miley Cyrus?

No way we're getting past that save for a miracle on the order of the one that got us past Maddux, Smoltz, and Glavine in 1996.  And that would be the sort of cosmic hurricane in which it won't matter a helluva lot if we have this player or that.

Look, EE is, what, 36?  And hasn't had a real sniff of the World Series.  If he can't come back for this, well, then, God bless him, he's all but dead.  And we have people to replace him.

Happ would be a real loss...but we've played almost this entire season with him as a dead loss.  We could use Kahnle, but he may be all right, and if just one of these guys—Sevvy, Monty, Toonces—can come back, we won't miss him.

Which leaves Sanchez.

I hate to say this, but:  Sanchez is a boob.

Sure, it could be he was ordered to steal second—though I very much doubt it.

But if you're ordered to do something so idiotic and you know how you feel, you trudge toward second at a home-run-trot pace, then go back to the dugout and say, "Aw, gee, skip, bad jump!"

Anybody who can't figure that out is a boob.

But I very much doubt that Boone sent him.  I very much suspect that the great idea to steal second base in a meaningless situation in a meaningless game was all Sanchez's.  Because he is a boob.

Hey, I don't mean that he's a boob away from a ballfield.  For all I know, Sanchez spends his evenings reading Marquez, Proust, and Dostoyevsky in the original Russian.

But on the field...

Guys like this, it's always something.  They have a permanent bad weather system following them, like that Al Capp character, Joe Shlobotnik, or some such, who had a storm cloud always over his head.

There are always guys like that, whether it's their fault or not.  Sanchez is one of them.

When he first came up, he looked like a young Johnny Bench.  Since then, it's been only backwards.  It's been one thing or another—and it always will be.

Injuries, fielding problems.  He seems to have solved the passed ball problem, but now his throwing out baserunners percentage is way down, from 41 percent to just 26.

It's always something.  You push something with this guy, something else gets pulled.  We should've dealt him for Realmuto this past postseason but we didn't, and now we'll have to deal with the soap opera that is Gary Sanchez forever.

Except maybe this postseason.  Which is not a big deal.

Sanchez's Octobers?  .197 in 75 plate appearance.  Much like his regular seasons.  A big game or two in which he clubs a couple massive homers.  A whole mess o' strikeouts in between.

Sancho goes out hitting .233.  Will we miss him?  Um, as much as we missed John Ellis, another mess o' potential.

Bring on Romine and Higgy.











26 comments:

  1. FUCK YOU, you dried-out team named after a bird. Fuck you and your creepy, dead-quiet stadium. The Empire has come to stomp your bird balls in our gigantic robotic nutcracker mitts.

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  2. If you've never heard Robert Mitchum sing "Thunder Road," you need to. It's the last track on "Calypso Is Like So," on which he does a nice job during the calypso craze.

    Nice bloop by Clint. We'll win this.

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  3. GLEYBER JUST HICCUPPED A MAN TO THIRD!

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  4. Believe it or not, I used to own the 45 to Thunder Road. The B side was "My baby's lovin' arms," as I recall.

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  5. LUKE! I AM YOUR FATHER! THE FORCE IS WITH YOU! LUKE JUST MOVED THE LINE ALONG AND IT'S A TIE GAME.

    These are the guys who get me excited about the team: Luke, Gio, DJ, Romine and others. They re the difference between the past ten years of Yankee Dead Bad Syndrome (YDBS) and the current team. They are the core to any future greatness. I have said this before, but our pitching is worse this year than many of the past ten years, but the hitting is finally getting better.

    I have to go take an aspirin, then go scream into the void.

    Later, compadres.

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  6. Gio!!!

    Bit, you had the 45? I'm severely impressed.

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  7. GIO GIO GIO GIO GIO GIO GIO GIO GIO

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  8. I did have the 45. I'm a serious Mitch fan. Every once in a while, I go find the YouTube clip of Jane Russell singing "Five Little Miles to San Berdoo" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drrKpEhAI5o) just to watch Mitch's face as he leers at her.

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  9. DIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDID....

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  10. He sat too long.

    Mitchum was a character. Notably because he was completely not into the bullshit. Except for the tinted glasses.

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  11. You are correct, 13bit.

    Our bullpen is like what Churchill said about democracy: it's the worst in the world, except for all the others.

    Honestly, I can't think of a time when out Big 3-4 just ushered a damned lead to a win. Something ALWAYS goes wrong—another reason we won't win beans.

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  12. Andy Capp is a bloke that likes snooker. His wife Flo would be a saint if she didn't give hive a good knock on the 'ead with a rolling pin occasionally.

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  13. I loved Andy Capp.

    And now, on a different note, I'm going to sing you an old song from a long time back, called "Wilmer Font Fucked A Donkey." Just sit back and nurse your beers while the boys tune up to bring you this taste of old country music...

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  14. This is like watching paint dry...smh.

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  15. Now we're going to sing "The Lonely Ballad of Tyler Wade and Aaron Judge"

    Settle in and get comfortable. The boys will be walking around with the hats soon...

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  16. And straight out of Lubbock, Texas, where Buddy Holly hails from, is our guest singer tonight, Tyler Lyons, to sing "That'll Be the Day I Could Pitch"

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  17. By the way, I have to go vomit now. To put Lyons in and to lose like that is like a kick in the gut. Fuck you, Boner and fuck you, Nutsack.

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  18. I think the A's can beat the Astros. I hope we don't have the best record in the AL so that can happen.

    Doug K.

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  19. I don't blame Lyons so much. He's been all right for us.

    I blame the hitters. Toronto's last 7, anonymous relievers combined to pitched 7 2/3 innings of 1 hit, 2-walk, 6 strikeout baseball. WTF?

    And Ottavino now has 7 "blown saves." Of course they're not really blown saves, because nobody intended for him to get a save, but still: seems like every time we really need him to pitch 1 scoreless innings, he screws the pooch.

    This guys against the Astros? It won't be pretty.

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