Wednesday, September 18, 2019

The wave of Yankee injuries is not random occurrence

Existential question for today: 

How can you welcome back your best pitcher, win by a score of 8-0, clinch the division and still call it a horrible, awful, crappy, tick-infested rat-hole of a night? 

Well, that's what happened last night, as it's happened all season. There's no reason to expect it to stop. All year, it's been two baby steps forward, one giant step back. Today, it just doesn't seem fair.

A partial tear of the Achilles tendon. That's the line on Dellin Betances. He'll be in a cast for three months, in a boot for five. He might return next June, at age 32, with no guarantee that he'll ever recapture the fastball of 29. He might not be a Yankee, if he dares ask for a decent contract. Gone.

Last night, at 8 p.m., we were the happiest team in baseball, peering through the clouds that had blanketed us all season. Three hours later, we were snake-bitten and cursed. 

Who's behind this? Carl Pavano? Kei Igawa? Is there a double-agent in our midst, a jujuist being aided by Iran? Scott Proctor! He used to burn his jersey at home plate; could he be torching old sweat socks - revenge porn against Joe Torre for being worked to death? Somebody out there has invented an injury machine - like the hurricane generator off the Ivory Coast - and they're aiming at the Bronx. If Cokey Roberts were alive, she could explain. Aurec Goldfinger said once is happenstance, twice, coincidence, three times, enemy action. WTF do you say to 30? All I know is we've been hexed - this aint random, this aint the universe, this is mean-spirited and angry - and it won't stop until we beat the bastard with a tire iron and broken bottle of Mad Dog. 

(And let us now - as a blog, unanimously - hereby agree to dispense with the absolutely insane notion that Giancarlo Stanton will soon return and lead the team through October. The YES men (and YES women) use it to jack up false hopes; never again. He'll step on a wad of chewing gum and disappear to the Calgon Bath Oil Beads of Tampa. Nope. Never again.)

We either win the World Series this year - end this cursed thing - or spend the next 10 years whining that we've been robbed, like the cast of Glee at a post-Emmy party. We either snap this decade-long drought - beat not only the Astros but the Fates, the Furies, the Destinies, the Kardashians, Vladimir Putin - whoever is joy-sticking the drones. We win next month or face the cold reality: 

We are just another New York sports team, crushed under the weight of our self-induced hubris, incapable of going all the way. 

So, Dellin is done. Sure, we were fools to expect him back, but it sure was fun, eh? Imagining a scary, lights-out hulk striking out the side, showing the opposition that we can stuff them, at any time. Gone. It was just a dream, Dorothy. You were dreaming, that's all. 

So, here is our pitching staff for the playoffs - at least until someone gets dengue fever. I figure we carry 11 or 12, depending on whether Boone wants Tyler Wade to pinch run. 

Paxton (game one starter)
Tanaka (game two)
Severino (game three)

Happ/Sabathia/German (game four... CC here as a legacy.)
Ottavino/Kahnle/Green

Britton
Chapman


Twelfth man: Whoever looks good. Loaisiga, Cessa, Cortes, Adams, Heller, Montgomery. This would have been Dellin, if the gods weren't such pricks.

17 comments:

  1. I was with you until I saw Cessa and Cortes in the last paragraph. Then I got the hives.

    ReplyDelete

  2. Let's ignore all the injuries, the Gods, and whether we need Dellin and El Chapo back next year -- and instead ask ourselves a serious question:

    Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vtWB4owdE

    ReplyDelete
  3. "I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."

    Don't worry, the Yankee brain trust is good at that.

    in an unrelated move, I just noticed that they DFA'd Valera to make room for Severino. A shame, I kinda liked him when he was in there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LETS BE HONEST....

    DELLIN AND SEVY WERE LONG SHOTS....

    ....BUT WE MAY HAVE HIT THE LOTTO WITH SEVY....MAYBE.

    WE COULD HAVE JUST AS EASY BEEN DEALT WITH THE "BAD" DELLIN (WHICH ACTUALLY WAS MORE LIKELY)....

    YOU KNOW, THE DELLIN THAT CAN'T THROW A STRIKE, AND CAN'T HOLD ANYONE ON, WHICH WOULD BE DISASTROUS IN A PLAYOFF SERIES.

    SEVY LOOKED GOOD YESTERDAY....

    REAL GOOD.

    HIS SLIDER WAS A BIT OFF, BUT THE VELOCITY WAS IMPRESSIVE, AND HIS CONTROL WAS GOOD.

    LET US REJOICE!

    FUCK THAT, BACK TO REALITY.

    IT'S HOME FIELD, OR GO HOME FOR US.

    AS OF THIS MOMENT, WE FAILED. WE DON'T HAVE HOME FIELD.

    TO ME, WINNING HOME FIELD IS PART ONE OF SHOWING OTHER TEAMS WE ARE FOR REAL, AND WE ARE BETTER THAN WHEN WE SURPRISED EVERYONE IN 2017.

    LOSING HOME FIELD, MAKES THE ASTROS SAY TO THEMSELVES, "SAME TEAM WE KNOW WE CAN BEAT, ESPECIALLY WITH HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE".....

    HOME FIELD IS IMPERATIVE FOR US.

    ReplyDelete

  5. I'm obviously a sports fan and if I'm on this blog... old. In all of my years (and years) of watching and rooting for NY sports teams this team is unique.

    Not because of the injuries per se. There have been other years where the "injury bug" has hit a team I care about. For example, what idiot let Jason Sehorn run back kickoffs? But because they keep winning. Over 100 games. Again!

    Can't say they will win it all, but this team will be written up both in the annals of baseball history and in the New England Medical Journal.

    We talked about the reasons (cough, supplements), Duque lists some potential suspects, (really liked the Goldfinger line BTW) and I'm going to add some as well but what is truly remarkable is that they keep winning.

    At one point their ENTIRE starting outfield was hurt. Hell, 2/3 are STILL out. Let me say it again 2/3 of the planned starting outfield is still hurt. The guy who came out of nowhere to play left (Tauchman) is hurt. The guy taking his place (Maybin) is playing hurt. The only guy not hurt is the oldest guy on the team. It's insane.

    Not only that, at one point BOTH of our lead broadcasters were out! Both! And one guy, John something or other is the Lou Gehrig (OK... Cal Ripken ) of broadcasters. Both out. At the same time! Ryan Rucco probably has hemorrhoids and there's also something clearly wrong with Paul O'Neill.

    So, here are five possible reasons(beyond the above)

    1)The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center Radio Booth

    Seriously. This was a bad choice as a sponsor. A daily reminder of the fragility of life. Bad karma. Should have been the “Abs of Steel” Radio Booth. While we’re on the subject…

    2)The Workman’s Circle Hebrew Home for the Aged at Riverdale

    Also known as the place where my grandmother died from a fall. To be fair she was ninety-eight but there is a direct line from taking sponsorships from a place where a fall can be fatal to a place where a guy jumps off a mound and ruptures his Achilles tendon.

    3)Brandon Drury

    Think about it. The guy signs with the Yankees, is promised third base, gets a headache, gets replaced by AnDUjar (one of the first major injuries of the year - coincidence? I think not) and now doesn’t even get mentioned as a former Yankee on our own broadcasts) He’s pissed, he’s evil.

    4) Sabermetrics vs. Old Time Baseball

    This is a battle of forces beyond our understanding. An epic struggle no smaller than Christianity vs. The Ancient Roman Gods.

    The God “Sabermetrics” and his minions, by injuring superstars with abandon, (Recent victims include “Christian” Yelich and Mike Trout) are out to prove that all players are fungible, that clutch hitting doesn’t exist, that launch angle is more important than “intangibles and grit”.

    By having third basemen play second base or sticking all nine guys on one side of the field Sabermetrics broke the hearts, minds, and spirits of the old baseball gods making them irrelevant.

    5)Larry Rothschild

    You know why.

    Doug K.






    ReplyDelete
  6. There once was a lad named Betances
    Who suffered from great happenstances
    He took a short hop and injured his chop,
    Now he's spending the winter in Frances

    ReplyDelete
  7. OR

    The Yankees were taking their glances
    At the pitcher who's known as Betances.
    When all in a flash, he came down with a crash
    Now we're all taking our chances.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @ Doug K, your post is EVERYTHING, I cannot agree more, LOL!!!!!!!!!!

    And, I have absolutely no hope in this team beating Houston (or whoever) to get to the WS, that said, maybe, just maybe, that is why it just might happen,,,,, you can't predict baseball Suzyn.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you, Hoss. I neglected my book this morning in the favor of some Yank-riotic doggrel.

    I regret nothing. Onward!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This team won't beat Houston. But I still disagree, ALL-CAPS: playing Minnesota in the first round is more important than home-field advantage.

    I don't know if we even win an ALDS against Oakland/TB/Cleveland...whereas one of those teams might, just MIGHT knock off a Houston team looking past them, in an abbreviated series.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The injuries ARE horrible. But...

    —Let's face it, nobody was going to trust Dellin with anything, until he had at least established himself again with several good performances. The guy was ticketed with pitching those Cortes/Cessa/Lasagna innings—which made perfect sense.

    —Why the hell IS Maybin playing hurt??? Even if Coops intends nothing more than to sweep The Red Menace out with the trash in the offseason, getting nothing but mad money for Dominican 16-year-olds, WHY NOT PLAY HIM NOW??? And why not bring up Florial??? Inquiring minds want to know!

    —Nothing to worry about TOO much with this postseason. It was lost a couple years ago, when the Yanks failed to get Verlander, or Sale, or Scherzer, or anyone but Sap and Crapp.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lost in all the grief brought on by the black swan, was a classic call by the master last night. Maybin's 'double' in the 2nd. "There it goes! It is high! I-it is far! It's off the wall!"

    The ball clearly clanked off of the left fielder's glove before it hit the wall.

    That is why I love the master.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Austria's Only Baseball FanSeptember 18, 2019 at 3:37 PM

    Since his fist appearance in pinstripes, I dubbed him Delicate Betances. I think my inner Cassandra was working.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Be afraid. Be very afraid of the Twins. I mean, at some point the Gods of probability will demand that the record not be so lopsided and that Minnesota gets to taste the sweet nectar after a series with the Yankees. The Twins are playing rock-em, sock-em baseball, and we won that epic series in Minnesota last month only because our now-injured centerfielder pulled a couple of miracles out of his ass. They've been our personal doormats for decades. The Twins enjoyed some late-innings moments back in the day against Rivera, but always early in the season. In the playoffs, the Yankees didn't just beat the Twins; they raped and pillaged and humiliated. How long can this go on?

    Maybe we are better off with the wild-card winner.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You may be right, Parson Tom. And come to think of it, didn't they keep The Great One from notching a save in the 2004 ALDS?

    I remember thinking that in 1980, against KC. I thought we had the better overall team, and would have won a season-long race. But there are only so many short series you can count on winning...

    ReplyDelete

  16. I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
    God bless you
    I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.

    ReplyDelete

Members of the blog can comment. To receive an e-mailed invitation, write to johnandsuzyn@gmail.com. And check spam if it doesn't show up. (Google account required.)

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.