Hell, that's easy. There's Eovaldi, Price, Porcello, Rodriguez, Barnes, Workman... um... Mailman, Doorman... uh... Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Monbouquette, Tiant... um... the Stanley Steamer! Mike Torres, Sam Malone, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Doug Flute, Mark Wahlberg, Donnie Wahlberg... wait, that's 23! Okay, let's merge the two Afflecks and the two Wahlbergs, throw in Rusney Castillo - call him up from Pawtucket, you cowards! - and call it "Boston Strong," as in the odor.
People, it's over. For one night, anyway...
We have completed our first objective. Were this a Gerard Butler movie, it would be titled "Fratboy Has Fallen." (Beantown Down?) The Redsocks have been vanquished. Take a bow, Mr. Boone. Draft your speech, Mr. Cashman. Our national Yankiverse nightmare is over. There will be no repeat party this October in Boston Harbor. Matt Damon will stay in Hollywood.This doesn't mean the 2019 Yankees are done. Oh, no, God, no. There is no "Mission Accomplished" sign. We may have flown into Baghdad and ripped down Saddam's statue, but October remains three weeks away, and we're still battling for home field advantage and its spiritual boost.
But make no mistake: The Redsocks are fully baked. It's over.Nobody from Boston visited David Ortiz last week. It was Edwin Encarnacion and Gary Sanchez.
Nobody from Boston held firm at the trade deadline this year. They went out and got... um... Andrew Cashner!
Ben Affleck's former squeeze is now sleeping with A-Rod.
And Dave Dombrowski's last hurrah as Boston GM was to promote four more minor league pitchers - to form the fabled 21-gun salute. The clubhouse with 21 pitchers... something that will never be seen again.
Kids, go ahead and yell the word "Babadook." Doesn't matter. The boogie man is gone. So is the Mookie Man. They can't hurt us now. All John Henry can do is fall in his yacht, as he did the last time Boston popped like a balloon, with beer and Popeye's chicken in the clubhouse, while Curt Schilling was barfing taxpayer money in New Hampshire and Theo Epstein was eyeing Chicago. When Boston swirls a drain, those belching sounds down in the pipes get pretty furious in their accusations. I suggest we all take the day off to fully luxuriate in Boston's blame hurricane, which is about to make landfall in Cambridge. This is going to be fun. I can't wait to read Shaunny.
But listen: The mission is not done. Not by a month. Yo, Adrian, we've still got work to do.
And Dombrowski has been given the axe. How sweet it is!
ReplyDeleteThis resident of Rhode Island would like to clarify that Schilling attempted to defraud Rhode Island, not New Hampshire.
ReplyDelete28. The only stat that matters is 28. When will our years of suffering end? 28. 28.
ReplyDeleteTruly, fuck you Hal for not understanding that, you gormless stain on your father's memory.
LBJ is correct. He defrauded RI....and their development agency. He scammed the banks by giving them fake sales and marketing data. That piece of shit walked away unscathed (except his pride perhaps) whereas if anyone else pulled this crime they would be in jail serving at least 10 years.
ReplyDeleteRe: Dombrowski
ReplyDeleteI wonder if starting the service time arb clock on a big pct. of those Boston pitchers for no particular reason was either
A) A parting "Fuck You" from Dave who knew he was toast...
or
B) The final straw.
Doug K.
To an earlier point about the Sox and the wild card.
ReplyDeleteAs ESPN pointed out 92 wins is the avg. WC win #.
To do so the Sox would need to win 16 of their final twenty BUT as they failed to point out (because ESPN is part of the Red Sock Nation) even if they did it would mean that Oakland would only win five of their next twenty - to end with 91.
Ain't going to happen.
Doug K.
Last,
ReplyDeleteI had Tauchman and Voit as the two starters that don't make the playoff roster. But that was with Hicks coming back. Wouldn't it be wild if...
Stanton has a setback.
Maybin's wrist keeps barking.
Hicks (Done)
Tauchman (Done)
And they HAD to play the Red Menace?
Did anyone else notice that on Saturday the Yankees didn't give Frazier a start on what was his birthday and a game in Fenway (where he hits well)?
Doug K.
Was just reading the article on Red Socks Sports (ESPN, to some) about the injured Yanks.
ReplyDeleteStanton--maybe. But doubtful.
Hicks--going backwards. His arm feels "weird."
Betances--"erratic."
Sevvy--doing OK, looks like we'll get him.
CC--crippled but, of course, will play anyway. Sadly.
So the team we have is pretty much the team we'll have. Which isn't bad. I'm assuming Tauchman is fine and Maybin is iffy. As soon as Tauchman limped after that hit yesterday, I said to my wife, "Calf." So maybe he isn't fine.
LET THIS DOMBROWSKI FIRING BE THE TEMPLATE, LESSON, AND EXAMPLE OF WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WHEN A GM MAKES MOVES THAT LEAVES THE TEAM IN A MESS.
ReplyDelete....AND THEY WON THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES LAST YEAR!!!!!
Very interesting to see the Sox owners resort to the same grinding austerity that HAL and family have.
ReplyDeleteBut this is how all the great brains in MLB think. Whoever wins for you is completely replaceable. Never mind what Dombrowski is done, now they can coast for a few years, raking in the bucks from his past accomplishments.
Next GM up! It's how the Sox have operated since Theo left town. And who knows, they may get away with it.
But as the Yanks found in deep-sixing the Holy Trinity of Stick, Buck, and Bob, it ain't necessarily so. Sooner or later, you're stuck with your own private Coops, and the passageway to hell opens. And ownership doesn't give a toss, because the bucks continue to flow.
Nice, at least, to have Boston join us on the Food Stamps line.
Enough about trivial stuff. Did you guys see me at the game last night? When Busted Turd Olney was interviewing Boner, I was in the background right between them. I few other fleeting shots during the game also.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it was glorious -- the Carmine Ketchup fans were downtrodden and vastly outnumbered by good guy fans. I told the guy across the aisle that I like that his Sanchez jersey didn't have any letters on the back. He claimed the Sanchino himself gave it to him (I think his father is one of the translators). He pulled out his phone to show me pictures at the stadium with him -- and no ice cream sandwiches to be found. Chattered at the bench in spanish the whole night. And the clincher was the murmur in the crowd when it was posted online that dumbrowski was gone. Absolutely glorious.
Rufus,
ReplyDeleteWhat inning? I'll go to the DVR.
Doug K.
Top of the fourth. My dvr says 1:23 mark. The Sanchino guy is waving his arms in front of me. I got the blue and white Hawaiian shirt right behind him.
ReplyDeleteThe best pictures I got were during the national anthem with everyone on the top step. After that, beer and bulleit rye took over.
I thought Dombrowski had a longer tenure with the Sox, but it was only 4 seasons. Here is everything the Red Sox accomplished in those four seasons with Dave Dombrowski in charge of baseball operations:
ReplyDeleteWon a World Series
Won three consecutive division titles for the first time in franchise history
Won 108 games in a season—the most in franchise history, and one of the highest totals ever for a World Series winner
Won more combined regular-season games than any team other than the Astros and Dodgers
Won an MVP, via Mookie Betts, and a Cy Young, via Rick Porcello.
Not too shabby. But with the long-term signings of Price and Sale, 3 years @ 17 million each for Eovaldi, that's over 75 million for three pitchers that might be physically shot or unable to pitch more that at a mediocre level. He took quite a gamble. They're still paying 11.7 million for Rusney Castillo and 5 million for Sandoval. Oh yeah, even 2 million to Manny. LOL,thats a ton of dead money. But Dombrowski really boxed Boston into a corner on just 3 players. I don't see how they can stay a contender in the next 5 years.
That said, watch the Yankees sign Dombrowski as an assistant GM to pick his brain about Boston's overall plans, player development and inside business strategy.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.dropbox.com/s/10aelprzosssiqx/20190908_200312.jpg?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/r6rnfktwybguput/20190908_200315.jpg?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/lgvkpps3k3hsi9k/20190908_200322.jpg?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/uvf1anp7ucx9b1v/20190908_202238.jpg?dl=0
Pretty good seats, Rufus. Pretty, pretty, pretty good view onto that...what did someone call it just the other day...a filthy green pigsty?
ReplyDelete13bit, At least they got rid of the horse troughs. Kinda smells in the whole neighborhood though.
ReplyDelete80 years of hatred, stupidity and desperation will stink and linger for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI did see some black people there last night that weren't team employees. However, they were all wearing Yankees paraphernalia. The ketchup fans were mostly the usual racist townie assholes.
ReplyDelete
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