Behold: The Great Yankee Revenge Singularity is upon us

In recent days, three painful Yankee ghosts of October past have gone up like the hills around San Fernando. 

It's here, people. Look around. It's happening. This is it. 

We stand at the precipice of payback, the vortex of vengeance, the roadway of wrath. It's here, I'm telling you, it's happening...  

The Great Yankee Revenge Singularity.

If this makes no sense, I don't care. Don't stop me, goddamot, because I'm on a roll, and mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the juju gods... this is our time.  

The year of 2019 defied all laws of physics and nature. We have become a veritable Yankee hydra. So hail it! Whenever someone went down, two rose up in his place. We lost Andujar: Thairo Estrada and Gio Urshela appeared. We lost Giancarlo: Mike Tauchman and Cameron Maybin appeared. We lost Gary: Austin Romine and Kyle Higashioka appeared. Right now, our biggest problem is cutting the number down to 25. Listen: This doesn't just come to pass through random universal sequencing. This isn't simply our turn. There has to be a reason for all this.

Thrice, we knocked out our arch rival, Boston. Once, at home. Once, in London, on a global stage. Finally, in their own house. We beat Chris Sale. We put down Mookie Betts. They didn't even finish the season. We ended Boston's delirious plans for a "dynasty." They didn't even make to September 15. 

Minnesota boasted of the most home runs in history. They grumbled about past transgressions, how they would different. Their second batter in game one hit a homer. They preened in the dugout. From that moment on, they never knew what hit them. 

Last week, we watched a veritable re-enactment of the final scenes of the Godfather, with cold vengeance delivered upon our nemesis of the past. 

Dodger manager Dave Roberts - Boston's base-stealing scourge of 2004 - historically botched the finale of the NL Division series. He put on a clinic for bad decisions. Thanks to him - (a replacement for Don Mattingly, by the way) - LA has nothing to show for seven straight divisional titles. Wow. What a legacy of lumps.

And wasn't it a sublime to see everything collapse around none other than Joe "Machine Gun" Kelly, who was pitching in the final meltdown. As a Redsock, Kelly loved throwing at Yankees; he made no secret of his hatred for New York. Well, he's now a part of Nats history. He'll get free drinks in DC for the rest of his life.

In Atlanta, Brian McCann - the ungrateful catcher who feasted upon us two years ago as an Astro - just went down with the Braves. He has now retired. So long, sluggo. 

And now, entering our cross-hairs is Mr. Kate Upton himself, Justin Verlander, who has four times led teams over us in October, and who two years ago was the MVP of the Astros' ALCS victory. We couldn't stop him then. And earlier this year, we couldn't hit him. But the other night, Tampa sure did, eh? Something has changed, and we are going to take him down in Houston.

Zack Grienke, too. He put on his no-trade list. Well, he's on our vendetta list.

We are coming for them. Yeah, you read that right. And you read it here, first. We. Are. Coming. For. Them. I'm telling you, this is it. Summer is coming to Summerfell. The Yankees are coming for retribution. The Great Yankee Revenge Singularity is upon us. This is it, everybody. Stand back. We got this.