TONIGHT... MAYDAY... TONIGHT... WE ARE DECLARING A GLOBAL EMERGENCY YANKEE JUJU INTERVENTION

URGENT - URGENT - URGENT YANKEE MESSAGE

National Juju Service Syracuse NY
709 AM EDT Thurs Oct 24 2019

CAZ179>189-281915-
/O.CON.KHNX.EH.W.0002.190728T2000Z-190729T0300Z/
/O.CON.KHNX.HT.Y.0005.190729T2000Z-190730T0300Z/
Including the counties of Bronx, Queens, Albany, Broome, Onondaga, Chenango,
the cities of New York, Boston, New York, Providence, Hartford,
Elmira, Yonkers, Massena, Salem, Worcester, Cambridge, Utica, Goshen,
Jersey City, Ashtabula OH, Bakersfield, CA, Washington DC, and Houston, TX.
409 AM EDT Thursday Oct 24 2019

...THE NATIONAL YANKEE JUJU SERVICE HAS DECLARED
A GLOBAL EMERGENCY JUJU INTERVENTION ADVISORY,
BEGINNING AT 8:31 EDT THIS EVENING AND LASTING 
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE...

* OPPONENT BATTING AVERAGES of up to .450 are forecast for Thursday, 
with possible Yankee ERAs soaring above 9.00.

* THIS MAY BE ACCOMPANIED BY HEAVY WINDS AND RUN TOTALS
that break existing records. 

* IMPACTS...The runs and extreme immensity of these nine-inning beatings 
may cause stress, especially during extended exposure.

PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A GLOBAL EMERGENCY JUJU INTERVENTION requires all fans to take extra
precautions during prolonged Yankee exposure. When the game begins, fans
should avoid outside locations and/or reschedule strenuous activities 

to early morning, but plan to hover in front of their television, radio or 
juju porthole/ listening device for the next 72 to 250 hours. 

Wear body armor when possible and drink plenty of fluids, 
preferably including spiritual stimulants. 

Channel all existing bile into the television screen or radio wavelength 
indicator, and dispatch juju waves accordingly to the team on the field.

This event will begin in the BOTTOM OF THE FIRST INNING 
OF TONIGHT'S GAME, at approximately 8:31 p.m. EDT. 

At said moment, Yankee juju operatives across the nation will 

direct all personal and public juju waves toward the Yankees.

THIS IS NOT A TEST. THIS IS NOT AN OPTION. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING
TO TAKE LIGHTLY OR PRETEND YOU DID NOT SEE.

FOLLOWING THE LAST EMERGENCY JUJU INTERVENTION - JULY 28, 2019 - 
THE YANKEES WON 10 OUT OF THEIR NEXT 11 GAMES.  YOU CAN LOOK 
THIS UP. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. IN FACT, THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN

ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DONE IN YOUR SAD, MEASLY LIFE.

DO NOT BLOW IT.

THE GLOBAL JUJU INTERVENTION MAY INCLUDE VERBAL AND/OR NON-VERBAL TRANSMISSIONS, AND THEIR IMPACTS MAY BE DELAYED FOR SEVERAL MINUTES, AS THE RIZZUTONIC ENERGY FORCES COAGULATE
INTO A DIRECT IMPACT. WEAR LOOSE-FITTING UNDERWEAR.

To reduce risk during this juju event, the Occupational Safety and

Health Administration recommends scheduling frequent refreshment 
breaks. If a Yankee meltdown becomes imminent, call the Yankee 
Hotline - (911) and ask for "Food Stamps." 

A National Emergency Juju Intervention means that a potentially
season ending event is on the verge of happening. 
The combination of hot Houston pitchers and ice cold Yankee batters 
may combine to create a CATASTROPHIC DANGEROUS SITUATION 
in which Yankee fan disgust and disillusionment is likely. 

Repeat: Drink plenty of fluids, stay indoors, avoid
public exchanges with Houston (or Redsock) fans, and check on 
aging relatives, who may be unaware of the impending disaster.

Young children and pets should never be left unattended in 

front of a televised game. This is especially true during the top 
of each inning, when Astros scoring can reach lethal totals 
in a matter of minutes.

STAY ALERT. A GLOBAL EMERGENCY JUJU INTERVENTION means that

Yankee fans everywhere will be channeling their psyche toward 
New York City, in an attempt to avert a home field sweep and
regain control of the ALCS. Yes, this may appear to be pathetic and 
too late to do any good... but THIS IS NOT A TEST.

Stay tuned to this site for further instructions.

TONIGHT... TONIGHT... TONIGHT...