Gardy returning, we took a hit in the Rule 5, Romine is a Tiger

Captain's Blog for the S.S. Death-to-All. Star date: Day One of the Cole Epoch.

The crew remains jubilant over the notion of our new, genetically-altered Ricardo Montoban-clone pitching every fifth day. To celebrate, many wear falsies and yell, "Boooone" in the corridors. I've tried to tamp down my personal expectations, yet find myself vigorously engorged, and need physical therapy from First Lieutenant Barbie. I've never seen the Death Star so merry.  

Adding to our delight is news that we have contracted Chancellor Gardner, the ageless scion, for one more mission. I will order buttresses for the ceiling of his quarters, as his baton is known to do physical damage. Though not as quick as he once was, Gardner's vast experience and knowledge of hostile beings make him a valuable asset. He is a lifelong member of the fleet, and he often outlasts our younger officers. 

The recent dire warnings by Science Officer Cashman have proven cogent. Yesterday, the Tigers conducted a flash raid on our system, taking two hostages. 

In the Rule 5 draft, the fiends made off with Rony Garcia - a youngster that I never had the chance to know - and later, they brazenly stole the venerable Austin Romine, turning his head with vast offers of gold. I knew that Romine - who'd been overlooked for promotions with us - was ripe for outside temptation, but I was stunned by the speed of his decision, along with his choice of Detroit. I wish him well. We worked together for 13 years. Still, a part of me knows that we shall inevitably meet in battle, where friendships are best forgotten. When we duel, he will not lower his mask to greet me. 

Through distant channels, we have picked up variant communications suggesting that Death Star Fleet could be interested in Josh Hader, an intriguing life-form from Milwaukee Sector. The idea of adding such a volatile presence concerns me, as does the potential price tag. In the coming days, who knows what will beam in?