1. So, in your upcoming bidding process, what do you think it will take for a team to come in second?
2. Do you really want to shave that beard? I mean, it's you. It really would be a shame to see it go.
3. Did you hear about the traffic jam today in the Bronx? I mean, it must have been 45 minutes, dead in traffic. Of course, if you play in New York, you'll get used to it. Wouldn't you like that?
4. Listen, we will beat any other offer, bar none! That's not in doubt. One thing, though: We'd like you to keep everything quiet and work through Rudy Giuliani. Say, didn't you once go carousing with Hunter Biden?
5. You'd love New York. Of course, your kids could get shot or kidnapped. Have you thought of leaving your family to play in the Bronx? No distractions.
6. Okay, I can't believe I'm doing this: One year in New York for all the money I've got in my pocket, right now! Ho, boy, if Steinbrenner knew what I'm offering, he'd blow a gasket! Whaddaya say?
7. Do you really want to be one of those greedy players, who values money over everything? I didn't think so. So, simply say the Yankees offered the most money, but you want to go home. Everybody wins!
8. The choice is yours. Which would you rather hang out with? All those young, LA supermodels and movie starlets... or Pete Davidson?
9. Hey, what do you think it will cost us to sign Michael Pineda?
1. "Gerrit, why are you even here?"
ReplyDelete2. "Gerrit, didn't you know that "talk" doesn't mean "talk?"
3. "Gerrit, where did you get the idea that we even liked you?"
4. "Gerrit, did you wash behind your ears?"
5. "Gerrit, we'd like to make you an offer, but I forgot what it was. Can you come back in a few months?"
6. "Gerrit, why did the chicken cross the road?"
7. "Gerrit, who's your daddy?"
8. "Gerrit do you know who you're dealing with?"
9. "Gerrit, how high the moon?"
10. "Gerrit, what did the GM say to the pitching coach?"
MIKE MINOR.
ReplyDeleteTHAT'S WHO WE ARE GETTING.
WATCH.
That's terrific!
ReplyDeleteA few more:
—Now one small thing with your contract: I hope you don't mind if we defer much of it for a few years. We've found a wonderful investor, some fella named B. Madoff who is working from what he calls "a secure government location." His rates of return are amazing!
—Sure, you can send your kids to the public schools. We just can't guarantee that they will return.
—What, THIS picture on the wall? Oh, that's just Yankees fans abusing Mrs. Cliff Lee because her husband didn't sign with the team. Good times.
—Gerrit, is there any possibility you could play a little soccer in all that time between starts? It's the sport of the future, you know.
—Whaddaya mean, 'Can't we go to a classy restaurant'? In New York, it doesn't GET any classier than Subway—at least, not since Tad's Steaks closed.
—No, that crazed homeless man who just accosted you outside the Stadium was NOT Hank Steinbrenner. I don't care how much he looks like him.
I remember ZumZum...
ReplyDeleteI just ordered the book. It looks good:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/dec/04/the-life-and-death-of-jim-devlin-baseballs-original?fbclid=IwAR0Pf9--mGHCGWe2jbM2psZZUs6uKSnlz2lNjBrsxmMIEeMam4zz_thdm9s
Hal is confident with the starting staff we have now.
ReplyDeleteNo need to change.
When winning the world series is not the goal, the pressure is less.
Increase the cost of hot dogs.
Five questions for Gerrit Cole.
ReplyDelete1) You've already turned us down twice. Why will it be different this
time?
2) Coming here means you won't have as much run support because we
haven't figured out how to tip our hitters on what pitch is coming.
Is that going to be OK with you?
3) Supposedly you grew up as a Yankee fan. We offered Patrick Corbin to
take a 50 million dollar "I love the Yankees" discount. Would that
kind of thing work here?
4) Has CC called you yet?
5) What kind of stupid name is Gerrit?
Doug K.
Doug, that last question got me. I shot my lunch through my nose, man. You owe me a halal chicken
ReplyDeletePlatoni,
ReplyDelete:)
Doug k.
Yeah, number 5 is good. They DEFINITELY need to ask him that.
ReplyDeleteLeft Switzerland. Much less cheese now that we're home. So anything happen while I was away? Who's this Gerritt fellow?
ReplyDeleteSo my question is...will the Yanks spend more now to keep up with the Mets as they have been essentially sold?
ReplyDeleteThat WAS a great question, Doug...and what kind of stupid name IS Gerrit?
ReplyDeleteI mean, if you're going to name your kid Garrett, name him Garrett, for pete's sake. And if you're going to name him Gerald, name him Gerald. Or even Geraldo. Geri's not Garrett, and it's not Gerald. What the hell is it? You know it, I know it, and the American people know it, that this is one of those made up, new names.
—Bob Dole.
Annnnnnndddddd the loser in the Zack Wheeler sweepstakes isssss...
ReplyDeleteThe Philadelphia Philles!
They get Zack Wheeler and his incredibly unpredictable mediocrity for five years, and a low, low $118 million!
Sorry, Phils!
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