Sunday, February 2, 2020

On this Super Sunday, our day of cultural jury duty, the 2020 Yankees must carry the torch for NYC sports

It is the Super Sabbath, the celebration of Corps, the holiest day on your Spuds McKenzie/Victoria's Secret advent calendar... and a sobering moment of reflection for fans of New York sports. 

It doesn't take much to see that if the Yankees fail in 2020, the lyrics of New York, New York should be amended to, "I wanna wake up in the city that never wins." It's the Yankees, or wait'll-next-year. (Or next decade.) No other team will come close to a championship. If the Death Star fails, NYC might as well fill the Canyon of Heroes with topsoil. If the Yankees fall, the closest that Gotham may come to experiencing a championship could be the International League Governor's Cup, in which NYC can suck some winner's dust from Scranton/Wilkes Barre, only a two-hour drive.

I've said it many times: If all things are equal, New York cannot compete in sports against teams from smaller markets, which simply pose fewer distractions for their libidinous celebrity stallions. The only clear advantage NYC has is money, generated by the size of its market. Remove that fiscal advantage - with luxury taxes and payroll caps - and New York is handicapped by celebrities, traffic, hookers, tabloids, drugs, booze, screaming radio hosts, stalkers, lawyers, cops, robbers, entourages and and the worst ailment of all: The generations of old money, in-bred, dickless, bathrobe-clad owners, who are either dolts from birth, or who are raised to be naive, pampered buttercups, who then become cultivated and controlled by the most treacherous sycophants on the planet. It's a losing proposition, rooting for New York teams. Look at the swamp of mediocrity.

The football Giants. The fourth head coach in four years is about to take over. The 49ers went from worst to the Super Bowl, while the Gints have stagnated onward. It's the owners, of course, who deserve to be dumped in the harbor. Why would anybody think the Jersey Giants will win anything in 2020? In a big year, they'll go 8-8 and draft a wide receiver known for intricate end zone celebrations, which we will never see.

The Jets. A miserable franchise from top to bottom. Their greatest achievement: Somehow, they make the Giants look good.

The Knicks. Dear God, I don't even want to write about them.

The Nets. Could they embarrass the Knicks into improving? Would it be too much to ask?

The Rangers. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

The Islanders and Devils. Hummina-hummina-hummina...

The Mets. Before they hired and fired Carlos Beltran, there was a spark of hope that his cheating ways could produce a winner. New York is hungry for a Mets revival. If they win the NL East, they will win the 2020 tabloids back pages. But from here, the Nats and Phillies still look better. And, hey, everything said... they're the Mets.

The Yankees. Let's face it. On this Super Sunday, they remain New York's best hope in 2020. The burning question: Did Hal Steinbrenner pull back from the free agent market a bit too soon? Ever since the Yankees sprung for Gerrit Cole - hooray for us! - they've backpedaled, trying to save money by letting key lug nuts walk to other teams. This should be our year. It is the Yankees' talent peak. Come 2021-22, big contracts will come due, and Hal will revert to his Food Stamps ways, cutting payroll to avoid his all-important luxury taxes. This is it. This is the team that carries hope for NYC, and this is our best chance for a Yankee championship season. Boston might even trade Mookie for a complete tear-down and rebuild. If we blow this, the Redsocks might win another world championship before we do. Think about that, and you realize how desperate the stakes are.  

Chiefs by 12, Pepsi by six.  

9 comments:

  1. Duque...I agree 100%. Except for the Rangers.

    Unfortunately, they have the same drunk and arrogant owner as do the laughingstock of not only the NBA but in the entirety of the sports world: your New York Knicks. Also, could there be a less meaningful team name anywhere on Earth? Well, except perhaps the Cleveland Cavaliers. Sure, whenever I think of Ohio, my mind immediately conjures up the image of 16th century British soldiers fighting for the throne of King Charles. Yeah, what a great choice for a team name. Why not use an old, obscure Dutch reference to being from Manhattan. What great marketing opportunities!

    Anyway, at least after gorging out on Dolan's uber-large salaries for 20 years like a tick fattens up on a dog's blood, Sather finally fell of the owner's body sated and retired. What the Rangers got was a very sharp talent evaluator and an excellent negotiator with a solid plan. Which is why in less than 2 years the Rangers have gone from a team of solid citizens but battered by injuries and overuse to the youngest team in he NHL with plenty of talent still arriving in waves.The team has been completely rebuilt by shrewd trades and draft picks. The best is yet to come and with any luck, the Rangers win the cup within 2-3 years and perhaps have built a dynastic team.

    How many times have the pathetic Knickerbockers been rebuilt over the past generation? And yet they still are one of the worst teams in their sport.

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  2. Thanks for the ... whatever that was.

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  3. Have to disagree, Carl.

    Knickerbockers is a GREAT name, with deep roots in New York and a tip of the hat to the great Washington Irving, who popularized the term.

    Rangers is the really odd one—for that honorary Texas Ranger, Tex Rickard (who was said to have a penchant for underaged girls). Hmmm. But it's probably too instilled in New York lore to change now.

    Did you know that some people wanted to call the Mets "the Burros"—as a reference to the outer boroughs? Oh, Mets.

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  4. Goddam, Horace, that was wild: the "Burros." Perfect.
    All I can contribute is to quote Hawkeye to Cingatchkook: "The Yengese did it!"

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  5. Was tempted to mention Rutgers men's hoops. Been playing pretty well in Big 10. But yesterday they lost to struggling Michigan, at MSG. Oh well.

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  6. Love it, smurfy!

    Also loved the Yanks running that crazy, 14-12 win over Minnesota that Hicks won with his great catch on YES today.

    Pitchers and catchers in 8 days!!!

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