Virtual Baseball: The Curse of Anaheim Continues. Sterling Gets the News.

Not even J.A. Happ, the best pitcher in the American League so far this season, could salvage a win for the Yankees in Anaheim, as two home runs and a double by Mike Trout drove the Angels on to a 5-3 win.

Solo home runs by Gio Urshela and Mike Ford were just not enough to get the Yanks back in the game, ending their seven-game winning streak.

Meanwhile, the Yankees clubhouse was somber following the latest news regarding the Maestro of the broadcasting booth.

"We regret to announce that John Sterling, the Master, as he is frequently called, has been diagnosed with a rare brain disorder," Dr. ZaSu Pitts regretfully announced at Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital this morning.

The disorder, which was announced with regret by Dr. Pitts, is known as Knievel Syndrome, and leaves victims congenitally unable to successfully estimate distances.

"Victims of this syndrome might never be able to successfully determine just how far certain flying objects might travel," Dr. Pitts continued, her announcement heavily tinged with regrets.  "Why, let's say he was trying to determine how far, oh, say a frisbee would go, or maybe a discus, or a shot-put, or the hammer.  Even a javelin!  Or let's say, one of those things they fling at a Celtic Fling.  Why, he would have no idea, the sorry son-of-a-bitch."

Sterling was immediately prepped for the incredibly dangerous surgery, despite his warning as he was being wheeled into the operating room that, "There's no predicting the affect of anesthesia on the human brain!"

The Yankees regretted to say that they had no announcement to make, but they did announce that they would regret having to make another announcement about their beloved broadcaster, should there be a regrettable turn of events that would necessitate such an announcement.