Saturday, May 2, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Yanks Pecked to Death by Jays. April Roundup, Stanton Still Conferring with Manfred.

In Virtual Baseball tonight, the New York Yankees suffered a letdown against the rising young Blue Jays, losing 5-1, in a horrendously dull game in a dull city and a dull country.

Starter Mike King was undone by a steady succession of singles, along with long, solo home runs by Bo Bichette and Vlad Guerrero, Jr.  Former Yankees Brandon Drury and Billy McKinney drove in single runs with their single singles of the evening.

The loss came off an April that exceeded all expectations for the Pinstripers, though especially in terms of injuries.  Gary Sanchez, Luke Voit, Gleyer Torres, Clint Frazier, Estevan Florial, Tyler Wade, Chris Innetta, Erik Kratz, Gerrit Cole,  and Masahiro Tanaka all joined the team's already extensive injury list at one point or another.

Nonetheless, the Bombers ended up 22-10, just two games behind the still hot, really hot, Tampa Bay Rays.

Starter J.A. Happ, now 6-0, was named AL pitcher of the month.  Second baseman D.J. LeMahieu is leading the AL in batting at .385, while first baseman/DH Mike Ford is first in on-base percentage at .545, Miguel Andujar leads the league with a .625 slugging average, and Gleyber Torres is second in the AL with 14 homers, albeit 12 of them against the last-place Baltimore Orioles.

Meanwhile, to the surprise of most baseball officials, Commissioner Rob Manfred continued to meet with rehydrating slugger Giancarlo Stanton over his possible suspension.  The two men left Santuario El Rey after 23 hours of negotiating over cactus milk and special "desert flowers" Stanton claimed to have found in his time in the wilderness.

Reports indicate that they will now continue their negotiations in a nearby Hopi sweat lodge.  Stanton  told reporters it would take at least 4-6 days for them to reach true levels of psychic empathy.


3 comments:

  1. I'm glad we still have DJ in the virtual world cause it looks like he may slip away in this actual firmament.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here come the May losses some of us have steadily predicted. It'll only get worse from here. Forget about October, you guys. Some of us will tune out the Virtua-Yankees sometime in late August. Buncha overpaid doofuses

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