Virtual Baseball: Oh, Baltimore! Man, It's Hard Just to Win!

The New York Yankees virtual juggernaut rolled on at Yankee Stadium tonight, with the Yankees crushing the Baltimore Orioles, much as the actual Car of Juggernaut used to roll over any who got in its path, crushing bones, internal organs, and brain matter into a sort of holy jelly.

The final tally was 18-4, but not even that score indicates just how unequal play was, as the Yankees left 14 men on base, many of them simply too tired to run home in the later innings.  

Jumping aboard the Car of Ecstatic Home Run Death tonight were Luke Voit, Gio Urshela, Mike Tauchman, Clint Frazier, Kyle Higashioka, and of course, Jerry Mathers as The Gleyber.  And running right alongside the awesome Yankee machine was the Cole Train, clocking in for just five innings tonight and allowing two runs, but notching eight more strikeouts in that time.

It was yet another blow to the Orioles, who are now already 36 games out of first place. 

"Look how they hide their faces, and they hide their eyes," acting Master Clyde Frazier noted from the Karz-for-Katz broadcast booth.  "Cause their team is dying, and they don't know why."

Yankees fans, meanwhile, seemed delighted by the evening's rompfest, and repeatedly mocked, jeered, and poured nourishing alcoholic spirits over the heads of visiting Birdwatchers, in a gesture of sharing and appreciation.