Virtual Baseball: Yanks Guillotine Royals. Investigation Okayed. Cole is Back!

In virtual baseball, James Paxton cruised to victory in his first start of the 2020 season, shutting out Kansas City for six, easy-going innings at the Stadium, as the Yanks romped to an 8-2 win.

Sanchez homered again for New York, and Gleyber Torres hit his first home since returning to the Bronx against the Royals, who are now in Year 5 of their latest, 28-year rebuilding plan.  Luke Voit added a two-run blast for Yanks.  

The big story at the Stadium was once again off the field, though, as representatives from the Boston Red Sox and the Houston Astros arrived in New York to ask Commissioner Rob Manfredvonrichtofen to investigate their allegations that the Yankees were turning a blind eye to their thoroughly gooped-up players.

The commissioner, who now spends most of his time outside his Park Avenue office in a special, "smoking tent," emerged long enough to hear the emissaries from the BoSox and HoStros, and to pick up six Entenmann's devil's food cakes with the marshmallow icing.  

Coughing and giggling uncontrollably, the Commish was finally heard to tell them, "Sure...go area...whatever."

Meanwhile, in yet another gain for the Yankees, Gerrit Cole was seen getting into a limousine down near Wall Street, on his way to the Stadium.

"Just wanted to check out my stocks," Cole told reporters, and admitted that even he was stunned by the ongoing stock market rally that now has the Dow over 35,000.  

"What could possibly go wrong?" shrugged the pitcher.