Virtual Fenway: Domingo Makes It to Mound! Beats Sox!

(Posted on behalf of HoraceClarke66, who has computer issues.)

The New York Virtual Yankees, desperate for a body to throw at the BoSox in tonight's nationally televised game, pitched Domingo German, returning after the game's longest ever mystery suspension.

German, who has sustained serious physical injuries simply trying to get back to the mound by plane, train, or automobile, had walked the 215 miles between New York and Boston, wearing a hairshirt and flagellating himself all along the way, while taking vows of hunger and silence.

After restoring himself with the entire, pre-game, team buffet—it was, recalled the Yankees' clubhouse men, the first time that any single individual had eaten the entire buffet since Jesus Montero—German actually made it to the mound and pitched six, credible innings, surrendering four runs but managing to leave with a 5-4 lead, thanks in good part to homers by Mike Ford and D.J. LeMahieu. 

After his departure, the Yankees' restored Twin Towers, Judge and Stanton, added home runs in what became a 10-5 rout.  Boston fans were so incensed by the result—and their team's tanking this season—that they actually booed the traditional, seventh inning recording of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline."

"Well, I guess good times never did seem so good, so good," remarked broadcaster Clyde Frazier.

After the game, Domingo German continued to say nothing, observing his vow of silence, but signed that he was deeply repentant, and would like a ham sandwich.