Sunday, August 16, 2020

When the Yanks visit Boston in late-September, they should bring a back-up roster

Obviously, it's still too soon to pronounce Boston as "done" for 2020. And I'm not just saying this, you know, to sound like a "good sport."

At 6-15, the Redsocks could still get hot. They could roar back, take the next two from us, then go on a murderous streak, winning 20 in a row. They could take the division, plow over the league and sweep the playoffs. Why... this could be their ultimate, super-miracle, really impossible dream season, the greatest comeback! Ever! They could do it, I tell you, they could

But they won't. 

Nope. You look at this pork chop lineup and see three studs - Raul Devers, JD Martinez and Humphrey Bogaerts - and a knee-high mound of quivering gristle. They're the Bad News Bears without Tatum O'Neal. Soon, they will trade Martinez and Nathan Eovaldi for a stack of Mallo Cup coupons, summon some warm bodies from their Pawtucket detention center, and go about surgically tanking the season. Their battle will not be with the AL East but the Pittsburgh Pirates (4-14), for baseball's worst record. They will strive to be utterly rancid, and by gum, they will succeed.

Note: I hereby wish to amend a previous statement, made Friday, before this weekend series began. I hoped we would win three out of four, leaving the wretched Redsocks with a fishing line-thick thread of hope for 2020. Thus, they would finish in the lower tier - not dead last - and miss out on drafting first next June. 

After watching the first two games, there is little doubt that Boston is marching toward the flaming dumpster. Thus, we must win all four. We need whatever byes and home field advantages we can get.  

We need to be so far ahead in this cheapo, mini-race that we can skip the three-game series in Boston starting Sept. 19, the second-to-last weekend of the season. It will be, by far, the most dangerous series on our calendar. 

By then, Boston will be deader than Mussolini, out of even Wild Card contention, and the city will have moved on to the NFL... (maybe, anyway.) Most Redsock fans will have moved on to their usual pastimes of hating God and nature. But we cannot trust them. Never. 

All it will take is one die-hard Redsock lackey, a doorknob-licker, to penetrate the Yankee traveling bubble and infect the team... thus forcing a quarantine lock-down that would undermine or altogether kill our playoff hopes. Every one of their players will be a walking cough. By Sept. 19, we will need a back-up team of expendables to play Boston, keeping our starters inside a giant protective condom, lubricated - of course - for their comfort. 

After Boston, we will have only a series against Toronto - in Buffalo, a city with a secret Yankee fan base - and a home series against the Mattingly Marlins. We know Donnie Baseball would never let a player cough on us, right? It's the Boston trip that should terrify us.

In late September, everything will hinge on avoiding COVID. If we can't field a line on Oct. 1, it's over.

We need to win tonight. We need to win tomorrow. It's that simple. We these next two games, so we can forfeit in September.

2 comments:

  1. Well, only if it's lubricated.

    But you're completely right, Duque. Never let up.

    ReplyDelete

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