Breaking News: There might be life on Venus!
Somewhere out there, in the dense Venusian atmosphere, microbes might be cruising the clouds, looking to hookup within their alien ecosystem. (Yankee connection ahead; wait for it.) An entire planet, long believed dead, could in fact be the home to teething, unimaginable life forms that will someday reconfigure our view of the universe, of God, of humanity, of destiny - (I swear it's coming) - in the way that Deivi Garcia has remade our view of October.
Last week, "Li'l Pedro" threw a mini-masterpiece against the Toronto Blue Jays of Buffalo. He pitched 7, surrendered 2, won our only game and treated those Tonawandans like the faux Canadians that they are.
Ever since, across the Yankiverse, Garcia has taken on the aura of our long anticipated October Surprise. Could he be the short-season pitching version of Shane Spencer? Could 2020, the most miserable year on record, someday be remembered for the deathly pandemic, massive wildfires, wicked hurricanes and the sweetly enjoyable emergence of Deivi Garcia?
Tonight, we might just learn. The Jays will see Garcia for their second time. They will know that he pitches deliberately: two out of his every three first pitches are strikes. They will know that lefty batters do better than righties - a 3.38 ERA, rather than 2.79. They will know his pitches, his moves, his devilish grin... having seen them all before.
But here's the thing: Garcia will know that they know.
Thus, maybe he'll alter his pitches in a way that turns their expectations against them.
Then again, they might expect him to change, and refuse to bite on his anticipated alterations, which - (stay with me) - could allow him to pitch the same as before, which nobody would expect. I mean, it would be inconceivable!
Around now each September, fans have a tendency to proclaim every series as "the most important of the season." There is a small crap of truth to it. If, say, the Yanks blow all three - in front of their home fake fans - it would be a legitimate, steel-booted kick to their nuts. If we win three, the Jays would limp from NYC in third place, chasing a wild card.
But none of this might matter. The playoffs will happen without screaming fans and, later, inside a neutral "bubble" site, expected to be Texas. Thus, the entire 60-game season served merely to winnow out the most wretched teams and the self-tankers, such as Boston.
Frankly, this week's three-game set means little. Both teams should make the playoffs, and from there, who knows?
But tonight - ah, tonight - we will get our first true glimpse of what Deivi Garcia could mean to October. If he gets whacked, well, maybe J.A. Happ becomes Plan B. But if he succeeds, the Yankees would suddenly look quite scary. Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton and Gio Ursela should soon return - Ursela maybe tonight - remaking the traveling train wreck that recently went 5-15.
And we might even have an October surprise. A Venus fly trap?
ReplyDeleteEnjoying The Princess Bride reference you threw in there...
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ReplyDeleteI won't write on a comment page that includes someone talking about a small male member.
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A couple of things...
ReplyDelete1) Stanton back AnDUjar down.
Why? He was just finding his stroke and getting his mojo back. Since Gio is back as well why not send down Thario? Frazier and AnDUjar back to back was starting to look good.
2) Dr. Olu.
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Because Torres is dinged up again.
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I like Baseballs
Boone is a fucking idiot!!! Why the hell would you break up the chemistry with Dj, Voit, Frazier at the top of the lineup to insert two people coming back from injuries, that to be frank arent worth those spots when healthy.
ReplyDeleteI see Gary got his bi-monthly HR...still not hitting his weight.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAndujar went down and Wade stayed put because he’s the only legitimate shortstop on the roster.
ReplyDeleteAnd because Andujar is not a shortstop and apparently is not a third baseman either
Well, 20 runs, 5 HRs. Hoo-ray! Thank goodness Clint disguised himself as Derek Fisher and played right field for both teams.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, the Andujar demotion is a travesty. There isn't a single guy in the pen they can send down instead?
Another lesson in how to wreck a player...
On a positive note, I would like to point out that "If the playoffs started today..." we would play the Minnesota Twins. Sounds of voracious, almost hysterical laughter.
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ReplyDelete—The IBS Lady
I take no joy in this victory because Cashman is destroying Miguel Andujar. How can you not hate this fucking franchise?
ReplyDeleteYeah, sending down Andujar is stupid, real stupid. Send down one of the bullpen lugnuts instead.
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