Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Cole Train Back on Track, Runs Down Red Sox!

Virtual Gerrit Cole continued his dominance of the American League today, shutting down the BoSox in BoTown.  Cole breezed through seven quick innings, striking out 10, before he was dismissed early for the evening, with an 8-0 lead.

The Yankees' ever-reliable bullpen reliably surrendered four runs over the last two innings, but the Bombers held on for an 8-4 win.  Miguel Andujar, D.J. LeMahieu and Aaron Judge all homered for the Bronx team, with Judge's blast a tremendous shot that cleared the Green Monster, while Sox fans spat furiously at it, and mooned the Yankees slugger.

"I have no idea where they pick up behavior like that," said Sox skipper Do-Ron Roenicke.

The win moved the Yankees to within two games of the division-leading Rays, while the Sox dropped ever deeper into last.

Meanwhile, there were some troubled stirrings on Wall Street today, as it was determined that the latest broker investors have been flocking to, novichok.com, may not be all that it seems.  Discoveries of other fake Russian traders and dummy corporations have been occurring for weeks now, but this may be the one that starts a slide of perhaps epic proportions, what with the Dow still over 60,000.

"This one may be the real poison pill, but who could've known?" Treasury Secretary Steve Metuchen Mnuchin said today, of the company named for a deadly poison.

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