Saturday, October 17, 2020

The vile 2004 Yankees, owners of history's most wretched collapse, may soon have company - and the world should shudder

Tonight, the Tampa Rays can make history: 

They can join the odious and repugnant  2004 Yankees, as the only MLB team ever to lose a playoff series after leading 3-0.

If you believe in juju - and who doesn't? - tonight's Game Seven  has global implications.  

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The 2004 Yankee collapse came just days before U.S. President George W. Bush won re-election to his second term, a victory that eventually led to the Iraq War, the Great Recession and the psychological breakdown of Britney Spears. 

Any student of magical thinking will tell you that, considering Houston's record of cheating, a Rays' collapse would signal a similar impending wave of dread. Donald Trump's public rants - gibberish to many - could be the political equivalent of bangs on a garbage can lid.

Still, it's hard to say whether Tampa's collapse would equal the full shit-the-bed magnitude of the 2004 Yankee debacle. That horrible team - led by A-Rod and Javier Vasquez - traumatized its fans in a manner that can never be repeated. They won game three by a score of 19-8, and everyone on the planet knew that, to beat the lowly Redsocks, all they needed to do was show up.

So, they lost the next four. 

In comparison, the 2020 Rays would merely lose to America's most hated team. That's not nothing. And the agony could be amplified by a bench-clearing brawl or come-from-behind loss.  

If the Rays lose tonight, I hereby call for an immediate protective cordon to be established around Britney Spears. Our national juju nightmare might not be over. It might just be starting.

11 comments:

  1. And to top that off...The Rastros have a losing record going into the postseason...what this world has turned into...

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  2. As a dedicated student of magical thinking - someone with a PhD in the subject, I might add, were I not so modest, humble, good looking and brilliant - I can definitely state that baseball is meaningless this year. The real magical thinking is in believing that ANYthing has meaning, let alone a simple boy's game that has become big business for bloated asshole billionaires who cry poverty.

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  3. Not to mention that we are being forced into actively rooting for the Tampa Bay Rays. WTF. Rooting! Tis truly a dark time.

    Doug K.

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  4. Devi'ls choice, this one. I'm going to hold my bile and root for Atlanta against whoever wins, much as I don't want to do that, either. But wait - baseball season is over. What am I talking about?

    La de da de la de da...

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  5. Officially, I am still rooting for the Rays—at least against those cheating Astros and those traitorous Dodgers. Sigh.

    But after taking TB's bullshit all year, I can only say that they've pretty much poured gasoline all over their karma and lit it all up.

    Yes, an Astros victory would be a terrible reward for this team of cheaters—cheaters who probably robbed Aaron Judge of his one and only shot at an MVP award, and maybe robbed this incarnation of our New York Yankees of their one and only chance to grab a ring.

    But that said, I have to admit, I would love to see a Rays loss just to watch it wipe the smirks off the faces of Kevin Cash and that mouthy busher, Brosseau.

    I would love to see it give a big kick in the pants to the worst form of baseball yet invented, the one the Rays play so very well—and that if left unchecked will strangle the game we love the way kudzu strangles a mighty forest.

    I would love to see it expose MLB's whole, contrived playoff system—and all the awful rule changes being tried here, more playoff rounds, neutral sites, no off-days in the playoffs, man-on-second to start each inning—as the farce it is.

    For the sake of the game—the Rays need to lose!

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  6. Incidentally, much as I love Joe Torre, I've never quite forgiven him for 2004. True, Cashman's awful moves in the off-season set that team up for disaster. But there were about a dozen opportunities Sleepy Joe had to win that series, all of which he passed up as if in a sort of daze.

    Afterwards, he had the audacity to say that that sort of thing was bound to happen to the Yankees because they were in the postseason so often.

    No, Joe. That and various other playoff disasters—2001, 2002, 2003, 2007—happened primarily because, as big of a mensch as you are, you were a poor field manager who became worse and worse as your Yankees career went on.

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  7. Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced BoyOctober 17, 2020 at 10:10 PM

    Bottom of the 5th and the Rays are ahead 3-0. I am quite pleased and would like to see them knock out whoever wins the seventh National League battle.

    The cheese stands alone, so do probably do the 2004 Yankees.

    By the way, do you think any of the managerial assholes who continue to fuck the Yankees year after year... after year have noticed that the longest-tenured Rays player turned 30 this year? Think that might be a clue to somethin'?

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  8. Unfortunately, the Rays don't have Kevin Brown & Scott Procter

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